Beast… Pete Davidson
Belle… Chloe Fineman
Father… Willem Dafoe
Cogsworth… Kenan Thompson
Lumière… Mikey Day
[Stats with Beauty and the Beast dancing in the castle]
Beast: Belle, are you happy here with me?
Belle: I’m getting used to it.
Beast: What’s wrong?
Belle: If only I could see my father again? Just for a moment.
Beast: Well, perhaps there is a way. This magic mirror will show you anything in the world.
Belle: Anything?
Beast: Yes, Belle. Anything.
Belle: [to mirror] I’d like to see my father please.
[Her father appears in the mirror. He’s getting back to his home.]
Father: Is anybody home? Belle? Belle? Are you here? Hello?
Belle: Oh, calling for me. I knew my father missed me.
Beast: Of course he misses you, Belle. He’d be a fool if he didn’t.
[Father is alone in the house]
Father: Okay, so I’m just double checking. I’m definitely alone then. Nobody here in the cottage except little old me. Crazy old me.
Beast: Oh-oh!
Belle: What?
Beast: Well, it seems like your father really wants to make sure he’s alone.
Belle: Wow, he’s never been by himself before. He’s probably frightened.
Beast: Yeah, I think we’re the ones who should be frightened.
[Father is lighting up the candles]
Father: [humming] This is the best day of my life
Beast: Yep, yep, here we go. He’s lighting all the candles now.
Belle: Maybe he’s cold.
Beast: Nope, not a shot. I know exactly what’s happening here.
Belle: What’s he doing now?
[Father is putting all the pictures of his daughter down]
Father: Don’t look. Don’t. Don’t look at me. Don’t look at me. Don’t look at me. Don’t look at me. [looks at the picture of a horse] Look at me.
Belle: He just seems to be so lost without me.
Beast: Belle, this guy’s not thinking about you at all. And if he is we got bigger problems.
Belle: Oh my God, what’s he doing now?
[Father turns on the music and starts dancing]
Cogsworth: Well, that’s not something you see every day.
Lumière: I’ll tell you one thing. The mirror never disappoints.
Belle: Okay. Well, maybe we should do something else. Anyone want to sing “Be our guest” again? It’s a really, really good song.
Beast: Maybe later. This is some sick stuff.
[Father is spanking himself an dancing]
Mrs. Potts: Oh, I like this, dude. He nasty.
Belle: Okay, okay. I think we’ve seen enough. Anyone else want to look in the mirror?
Lumière: Quiet. The strangest thing of all is happening.
[Father is looking at a photograph]
Father: Oh my lady, look at how I’m carrying on since you’re passing. I just wish swish you were holding me close, kissing my neck, stroking my head, stomping on my groin, spanking my ass, biting my ass. So many wonderful things with my ass.
[throws and breaks the mirror]
Belle: Oops! I broke the mirror. Total accident. Can’t believe it. Anyway, see everyone had dinner. And let’s never talk about this again.
Cogsworth: I can’t believes she broke the mirror.
Beast: Don’t worry guys. I got like Father0 more of those in my room.
Chip: Wait, I don’t understand. What happened in that old man’s quadrant.
Beast: [singing] A tale as old as time
Which is a song I would sing if we had the rights.