Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 34: Episode 3

08c: Anna Faris / Duffy

Anna Faris' Monologue

.....Anna Faris

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen -- Anna Faris!

Anna Faris: Thank you, thank you very, very much! You guys, Iím SO excited to be here, hosting "Saturday Night Live". A lot of you know me from my movie, "The House Bunny"... (audience applauds) and, uh... Iíve played a lot of parts when Iíve had to be a blonde, and because of that, a lot of people think I am a dumb blonde, and Iím here to tell you itís totally true. I am, and I just want you all to know, Iím fine with that! Iím just enjoying life, having a good time, so what I do care if Iím a little bit of an airhead?

(Camera cuts away from audience to side of Anna; she turns and looks)

But can I tell you a secret? Iíll be in a conversation sometimes, and not only will I not know what people are talking about, Iíll forget who they are. Itís like my head is a prison.

(Looks back at audience)

Whoo! But you know, enough about that, I am so psyched to be here! All week, I was like ďWhat day is the show happening?Ē And they were like ďSaturday!Ē And I was like ďYouíre joking!Ē And they were all ďWhy do you think itís called Saturday Night Live?Ē

(Camera again turns to sideview of Anna)

But the thing is, I had no idea it was called that. I didnít even know this was a TV show until like an hour ago.

(Looks back at audience)

Whoo! But the important thing is we are gonna have fun tonight, and I know a thing or two about fun! Party!

(Camera again cuts away from audience; Anna pauses)

I... forgot what I was gonna say.

(Looks back at audience)

Whoo! Oh yeah, I remember! We got a great show for you tonight! Duffy is here! I hope thatís a person! So stick around, and we will be right back!

Submitted by: Joe Murray

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