Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 6: Episode 4
80d: Jamie Lee Curtis / James Brown, Ellen Shipley
Jamie Lee Curtis’ Monologue
…..Jamie Lee Curtis
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen – Jamie Lee Curtis!
Jamie Lee Curtis: Thank you. [ the audience can’t stop cheering and applauding ] Far out! Far out! I’ve gotta tell you all it is absolutely great to be here, and I finally have something to do on a Saturday night!
You know, I gotta tell you, one thing I’ve always seem to notice is that audiences expect certain things from certain performers. They always want Steve Martin to say, “I’m a wild and crazy guy!” Right?And you can never hear Springsteen sing, without hearing “Born To Run.” Right?
Male Audience Member: Right!
Jamie Lee Curtis: If you ever see Rodney Dangerfield, you always have to hear him say, “I tell you, I get no respect!” Well.. I know a lot of people out there have seen me in “Halloween” and “The Fog”, and..
[ audience applauds ]
Jamie Lee Curtis: Thank you. And, they’re all expecting me to do one thing. Well.. this is for you:
Aiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!
We’ll be right baaaaack!!
Air Date:
Summary: In a scene reminiscent of “Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice”, Elliot Gould wakes up in bed with the new cast members, compares them to the original cast members, then answers their questions about SNL’s glory days.
Summary: Elliot Gould shows off his old underwear to the audience, then swap pieces with Denny Dillon.
Summary: Highway billboards contain the text for classic novels, with new dialogue made available along each passing mile.
Summary: Rosalynn Carter (Ann Risley) convinces Jimmy (Joe Piscopo) that he should be glad he lost the election, because now they can have sex again.
Summary: A cohabitating couple (Elliot Gould, Ann Risley) receive a singing Billy-Gram (Charles Rocket).
Summary: A topless Gail Matthius demonstrates how women can self-examine themselves for breast cancer.
Summary: Pinky (Denny Dillon) and Leo Waxman (Gilbert Gottfried) interview Elliot Gould.
Summary: In a film by Randal Kleiser, a pair of shoes have sex on the beach.
Bio: Kid Creole and the Coconuts are August Darnell and a glamorous trio of female backing vocalists that includes his wife Adriana Kaegi and vibraphone player Andy Hernandez (Coati Mundi). Their music incorporated many different styles of music, among them, Caribbean/Latin American salsa and disco.
Summary: Gail Matthius tries to avoid telling John Anderson (Joe Piscopo) that he lost the election. In his first “Rocket Report”, Charles Rocket seeks gossip on the new album by John Lennon and Yoko Ono. In his new book, author Barry Grosscup (Gilbert Gottfried) makes the claim that Ronald Reagan is already dead.
Summary: Sgt. Steve Brick (Joe Piscopo) drills Cpl. Peter Thomas (Charles Rocket) of the Gay Brigade.
Summary: In a film by Mitchell Kriegman, a man (Mitchell Kriegman) can’t seem to put his finger on what’s changed in his relationship, as different actresses portray his girlfriend.
Summary: Joe Piscopo delivers the play-by-play at the nose wrestling match between Scottie Bockman (Elliot Gould) and James Walker (Charles Rocket).
Summary: Vickie (Gail Matthius), the Valley girl teenager, has a dinner date with 40 year-old Mark Doyle (Elliott Gould).
Summary: A detective (Gail Matthius) goes undercover to trap Chuck LeVinto (Charles Rocket), AKA The Accordion Killer.
Summary: In a Suburban Lawns music video directed by Jonathan Demme, Gidgette is eaten by a shark while surfing in the ocean.
Summary: Spokeswoman (Denny Dillon) doubly relaxes by speedreading a book and listening to classical music at an accelerated rate.
