Brutal Marriage Movie

Husband… Rami Malek

Wife… Heidi Gardner

[Starts with peak into husband and wife’s life]

Husband: I work late tonight.

Wife: You work late every night.

[Husband looks down and walks out]

Male voice: From a producer of “Marriage Story”.

[Husband and Wife are in bed]

Husband: Hey.

Wife: Hey.

Male voice: And the studio that brought you scenes from a marriage, and the stunt team from Blue Valentine.

[Wife is cutting vegetables. Husband tries to comfort her.]

Husband: Let me–

Wife: Don’t! [Accidentally cuts her finger a bit]

Husband: I’m sorry.

Wife: You’re always sorry, Nate. [walks away]

Male voice: Comes another film that shows you what a bummer it is to share your life with another person. “Brutal Marriage Movie”. Featuring two actors who fully expect Oscars. Really chewing on it. I mean, really chewing on it.

[Husband gets back home]

Husband: Claire, I’m sorry.

Wife: Ezra has one tumbling recital a year. One. And you can’t even–

Husband: I had a heart attack.

Wife: I can’t!

Male voice: Just two straight people with their straight little problems.

[They’re having dinner with friends]

Bowen: I feel like sex in your 30s is better.

Punkie: Way better.

Husband: Yeah, sex is fire.

[Husband puts his hand on Wife’s thigh. Wife slaps his hand off.]

Male voice: And their hands tell the truth. Starring a woman who loves to drink wine and dance around. A man who loves to get petted. And never forget, the therapist will be black.

[Husband and Wife is with their therapist]

Wife: My life is here.

Husband: And my life is there.

Therapist: So, break up?

Wife: No. No. We just want to fight a little more until we fall in love again.

Male voice: Married people across America are asking. “Is this for us? Because we don’t want it.” “Went to the movies, saw a damn play.” “I kept watching, mostly because I heard you see the actors [bleep]. Meh!” From a director going through a divorce himself, and now he gets to decide what happened.

Son: I wanna live with daddy. He’s such a good man.

Wife: You’re right.

Male voice: With all the moments you love. Man doesn’t hit woman, but breaks something close to her. Very, very quiet, then all of a sudden loud.

[Husband holds Wife]

Husband: [soft voice] You look beautiful in this light.

Wife: [screaming] You’re suffocating me.

Male voice: And insane sex scene that’s only close up from the actors’ faces. And they cry again. “Brutal Marriage Movie”, just get a divorce.