Kids Talk Trump

Vanessa Bayer

Dave Chappelle

[Starts with a person talking on TV]

Man: It’s hard to be a parent tonight for a lot of us. You tell your kids, don’t be a bully, don’t be a bigot. They’re afraid of “How do I explain this to my children?”

[Cut to ‘Kids Talk Politics’ intro]

[Cut to Vanessa talking with the kids]

Vanessa: So, we just had a big election for president. Did you parents vote?

Kids: Yes!

Vanessa: Great. So, the candidates were Hillary Clinton against Donald Trump. Have you guys heard of Donald Trump?

Kids: Yes.

Vanessa: What have you heard about him?

Boy: He’s funny but he’s kind of a bully.

Girl: He like always talks about how great he is

Boy: He’s got like weird fake hair.

Vanessa: He does, right? How about you? What do you think about Donald Trump?

Black Girl: He unleashed racism and xenophobia. We now must return to the dark ages of white presidents. Also, my dad said that Donald Trump will stop and frisk my cat.

Vanessa: What?

Black Girl: We have a black cat. His name is pussy.

[Dave walks in]

Dave Chappelle: Hey, sweetie.

Black Girl: Dad!

Dave Chappelle: Sounds like somebody’s driving some truth. Let’s get your stuff. We’ve got to get pussy from the vet. Bye kids.

Kids: Bye!

Vanessa: [to other kids] Pussy is their cat.

Kids: We know.