[Starts with video clips of people jogging]
Cecily: Here at Skechers, we pride ourselves on two things, making stylish comfortable shoes at an affordable price and having zero tolerance for anti semitism.
Bowen: That’s why earlier this week when Kanye West showed up at our corporate office asking to work with us, we said no.
Chloe: No way.
Marcello: No.
Punkie: No, thank you.
Bowen: And we immediately escorted him out of the building.
Cecily: Like the rest of the country, we were appalled by Kanye is horrific comments, and we vow to never work with him in any capacity. But can we also point out that of all the companies he could have approached and been rejected by, he chose Skechers. Skechers has always been a hip edgy company.
Punkie: Everyone knows that. So of course, Kanye came to us first.
Chloe: Kanye came to Skechers and Skechers said no. Do you realize how insanely satisfying that is?
Cecily: I guess you could say that Skechers employees are kind of heroes. Like Celie maybe.
Bowen: Two years ago, could you have imagined the headline “Skechers too good for Kanye”?
Cecily: I actually feel high. Like I think this is what cocaine feels like.
Punkie: Corporate was like, “We can’t work with Kanye West. He’s crazy now.” I was like, “Now?”
Cecily: It took Adidas so many days to decide not to work with him. I mean, he walked in and we were like, “Bye. Bye-bye. Door!”
Bowen: And sure Kanye and Skechers would have been a perfect partnership. He’s always been a disruptor in the fashion industry.
Marcello: And we invented shoes you can wash in a washing machine.
Bowen: But again, we would never partner with him.
Chloe: Never.
Cecily: Absolutely not.
Bowen: Besides, what would you even call a Kanye Skechers shoe anyway? The Skeezy? it’s actually not bad.
Marcello: But we’re not doing it.
Chloe: Right. Because of the anti semitism.
Cecily: I’m proud to work for Skechers. I mean, when’s the last time I’ve said that? All we want is for people to know where Skechers stands.
Chloe: And for a little recognition of how cool this makes us look.
Cecily: But it’s not all about us. It’s not like all birds is fighting the fight.
Bowen: Now I noticed we haven’t heard anything from Crocs not saying Crocs is anti semitic. I just think it’s interesting we haven’t heard from them.
Cecily: And if you want to tweet your support to Sketchers, just a reminder, there’s no ‘T’ in Sketchers. #SketchersHeroes. No ‘T’ in heroes either. But I think people know that.
Bowen: So thanks, but no thanks, Kanye.
Marcello: We don’t need you.
Chloe: We don’t stand with you.
Cecily: And we might mess up in the future. But we didn’t this time.
Bowen: And besides, I’m sure Kanye will find some morally dubious company to work with instead.
[Cut to My Pillow commercial]
Mike Lindell: He’s sure will. Hey, it’s me Mike Lindell, founder of My Pillow. And I’m proud to announce that we are starting ties with Kanye West. In fact, immediately.
Male voice: My Pillow, Sketcher’s trash is My Pillow’s treasure.