Ass Angel Jeans

Maya Rudolph

Charlise… Adele

Beck Bennett

[Starts with Maya turning music on jukebox in a bar. She turns around and sees Charlise and gets stunned.]

Maya: Dang, Charlise, you look amazing in those jeans. And you smell great too. What’s your secret?

Charlise: Well, they’re my new Ass Anger Perfume Jeans, of course.

Maya: Perfume jeans? [Maya smells Charlise’s jeans] Umm, gorgeous. Can I get a pair?

[Charlise just closes her fist and uses her power. Now Maya has those jeans on as well.]

Sweet smell and booty. These jeans are from heaven above.

[cut to Beck singing]

Beck: [singing] She’s got an ass of an angel
they now just smells like one too
She’s got an ass of an angel
you can smell that it’s true

[cut back to Maya and Charlise]

Charlise: Ass Angel jeans are the only jeans that covers your secret little lady scents. Don’t worry girl, all I can smell is cinnamon sugar swirl.

Maya: He knows the booty looks like cake, but now it smells like one too.

Charlise: Blow off the candles and take a bite.

[Cut to Beck singing]

Beck: [singing] Perfumed aroma
and I’m talking back door
she’s got that ass of an angel
wanna smell it some more.

[Cut back to Maya and Charlise]

Charlise: Ass Angel Perfume Jeans are also made of lavender, rose and loads of awesome industrial chemicals.

Maya: That’s a whole lot of smell. I gotta sit down.

[Maya takes a set]

Charlise: Oh, no. Not on the furniture.

[Maya stands immediately]

Maya: What? Oh, wow, my butt bleached the seat.

Charlise: That’s the magic of the jeans of course.

Maya: Hey. I went to the bathroom earlier and it stung when I tinkled. Is that the jeans?

Charlise: Yah-hah. Do not wear these jeans if you have kidney or liver problems.

[Beck walks into the bar and meets Maya and Charlise.]

Beck: Smelling good, ladies.

[Beck touches Maya’s butt, and it burns him.]

Oh, that ass is hot.

Maya: And so is my front.

Beck: Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go sing.

[Cut to Beck, Maya and Charlise all singing]

Beck: [singing] She’s got the ass of an angel

Maya and Charlise: Ass of an anger

Beck: Do you smell my angel?

Maya and Charlise: Smell my angel

Beck: Do they wear jeans in heaven
that ass of my prayers

Female voice: Ass Angel jeans. Consult your doctor before purchasing.