Melissa Seals the Deal

Melissa VillaseƱor

[Starts with Melissa talking to his date at her apartment door.]

Melissa: Oh, man. I had the best time. Well, it’s getting late. Goodnight. Unless, you wanna come in for a little bit. [There’s no one. Melissa is just talking alone.] You do? Oh, cool. [Melissa opens the door] Lead the way.

[Melissa gets two glasses of wine and lights the fireplace. She then sits on the sofa alone.]

Can I get you anything else? Oh, sorry, I don’t have any cigars. I’ll add that to my shopping list. Do you like movies? Me too. Okay, favorite movie on the count of three. Ready? One, two, three. “Flubber.” Ah! I was totally going to say “American History X.” I swear. [starts blushing] Why are you looking at me like that? I’m only looking at you coz you’re looking at me. Stop it. I’m not the most beautiful girl in the United States. [smiling] Okay, I guess I am. [kisses the air] Ha-ha. Your tongue’s tiny. [starts kissing the air intimately.] [Cut to Melissa in her bed. She’s wearing her gown.]

What? Your scars don’t bother me. I think it’s pretty cool you were attacked by a wolf. Wait, before we go any further, there’s something you should know. [whispering] You don’t have to be gentle with me.

[Cut to Melissa waking up in the morning]

Good morning, you tall drink of milk. Last night was crazy. I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere.

[Melissa walks into the bathroom. She looks at the commode.]

What the heck? Did you plug up my toilet? Oh, man! Get out of my house, you weirdo. And cut your toenails. My legs are all cut up.

[door shutting sound]

Oh, Meliss, you sure know how to pick em’.