Kyle Mooney
Pete Davidson
[Stars with people on hoverboards in a park]
Male voice: This Christmas, you gotta get a hoverboard.
Kyle: I just think and it goes wherever I want.
Pete: Where I can do sweet spins.
Male voice: They’re the hottest gift of the holiday season. And now they’re literally the hottest because they also explode.
[a hoverboard explodes]
Kyle and Pete: Sick!
Male voice: It could be plugged it. [a charging hoverboard explodes]
You could be riding it. [Kyle is riding a burning hoverboard]
Or it could just be sitting there.
[a hoverboard at the corner of the room explodes]
Pete: I knew it!
Kyle: But how do they explode so well?
Male voice: Simple, we take a battery from 90’s cellphone and make a make it power a motor designed for a small car. And since hoverboards are banned from streets and sidewalks, they’re perfect for riding in your house. Or in a different room of your house. Plus, there’s no lame ass warranty.
Kyle: There’s just a really dope warning!
[The warning reads “May Cause Death”.]
Pete: And look, even grandpa’s getting on the action.
Grandpa: [riding a hoverboard] Look at me, I’m doing it. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. [Grandpa is literally on fire]
Pete: Nice!
Male voice: So, this Christmas, get the gift that says, “I hate walking but I love fires.” Oh, and very occasionally, hoverboards may accelerate from 0-80 in four seconds. Wait, what?
[Pete is on a speed hoverboard and is screaming. He wets his pants.]
Male voice: Hoverboards, no longer sold at Amazon, Walmart, Target and Radioshack. Manufactured by the good people at Kids Crew. The same people who brought you Plane Lasers. Lasers that kids can shoot at planes trying to blind a pilot.