Steven… James Austin Johnson
Jenny… Molly Shanon
Stanley… Kenan Thompson
Andrew: Hello, everyone and welcome to your first day at Vincent’s valets. Now, being a valet is the hardest job in the world. Forgot about brain surgery. It’s the second hardest job in the world.
Steven: Got it.
Jenny: Totally. Yeah.
Andrew: Okay, now I believe that everyone can be a great valet as long as you follow these three simple rules. Lil joke, lil bow, lil jog. This is the cornerstone of quality valet. Allow me to demonstrate. [runs to the guests]
Chloe: Here you go.
Andrew: Oh, thanks ladies. Hey, you know, your sister is quite the looker.
Sarah: You’re bad.
Andrew: Y’all enjoy yourselves now.
Steven: That was neat.
Jenny: That was the littlest jog I’ve ever seen I think.
Andrew: Okay, thank you. Steven, it’s your turn. And remember, lil joke, lil bow, little jog.
Steven: Yes, sir. [goes to the guests] Howdy, folks?
Michael: Ah, it’s a Porche.
Steven: Oh, a Porche. Compensating for something? My condolences, miss. She’s all, “Is it in yet?” And you’re all, “I’m giving it all she’s got, captain.” Ha-ha-ha-ha. Y’all enjoy yourself now.
Steven: You know what? You know what? Don’t even say it. I gave him back his keys. I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.
Andrew: Yeah that, and your joke was about a customer’s penis and then you ran away at top speed.
Steven: That was not even close to my top speed, but okay, go off.
Andrew: Alright guys, let’s try to remember keep a little, okay? You see a little this is? See how lil that is? See how lil that is? It took me 10 years to get this little. Okay?
Stanley: That is little.
Andrew: Okay, Jenny, you want to go get their keys?
Jenny: Oh, sure.
Andrew: Okay. And again, hey, lil joke, lil bow, lil jog.
Jenny: Got it. [run to the same guests] Okay, hi there, folks. Did I get the ticket? Oh, here you go.
Heidi: Thank you so much.
Jenny: Oh, nice car you got there. I might have to steal that baby. I’m just kidding. But I actually could. Just kidding. I’m actually in love with you. No, I’m not. I’m really married. We broke up though. I met him online and turns out he was in sick middle school or using a hospital computer. [bows]
Andrew: Okay, no! Yeah, bring it on back. Bring it on back. No, over here. Yeah. Good try, but I almost wish you stopped after the first thing you said.
Jenny: Well, how was that?
Andrew: Not very good.
Jenny: I’ll do it next time.
Andrew: Stanley, you wanna give it a try?
Stanley: Okie, dokie. [walks to the guest]
Punkie: Thank you.
Stanley: You ever come here before?
Punkie: What? I’m sorry. I can’t really hear what you-
Stanley: [yelling] Pass!
Andrew: Okay! Yikes, you want to tell us what happened there, Stanley?
Stanley: Yes. I talked too quiet and then I said pass real loud.
Andrew: That’s right, Stanley. Good. Oh, you got another customer.
Jenny: Can you let me try the next one?
Andrew: Okay, fine, but take it slow, Jenny.
Kearney: Careful. She’s got a temper.
Jenny: Okay. Yeah, actually me too. I’m kidding. No, actually, I’m in love with you. How about you rip off this turquoise and put a baby inside of me?
Andrew: Bail! Bail!
Jenny: Guys, this is so hard.
Stanley: I think I got it now, sir.
Andrew: Okay, are you sure Stanley?
Stanley: Yeah, it’s a lil joke, lil bow and a lil jog. It’s pretty simple.
Andrew: All right. That’s what I like to hear. Go give it a shot.
Stanley: All right. Let’s do this. [runs to the guest] I’m gonna steal your car, you black bitch. [jogs back] Before you say anything, I know that wasn’t right.
Andrew: Just forget it. I mean, if we can’t get this right, we might as well shut down. Guess rich people can park their own cars.
Steven: Hey, hey, don’t say that. I promise I’ll make you proud.
Jenny: And I’ll practice my job every day.
Andrew: You will? Thanks guys.
Stanley: Yeah, also accidentally I swallowed all the keys.
Andrew: Alright, then. Let’s go to the hospital.