Gus… Kenan Thompson
Tommy… Kyle Mooney
Felix… Oscar Isaac
Carlisa… Ego Nwodim
[Start s with show intro]Intro song: You thought you could fix it by yourself
plumbing’s just as easy as building a shelf
When your DIY become OMG
You’re in over your head.
Gus: Well, hello, I’m Gus Vantant. And welcome to In Over Your Head, where we talk to folks who got a little overconfident taking on projects around the house. Sponsored by Thumb Ice. Did you whack your thumb with a hammer like a cartoon idiot? Numb the pain with Thumb Ice. Okay, our first guest is Tommy Dorian, who says he tried to install his own pool. Oh-oh! Come on in, Tommy.
[Tommy walks in. His hair and shoulders are wet.]Tommy: Hi.
Gus: All right, well, looks like your hair’s still a little wet from the pool there, Tommy.
Tommy: No, that’s unrelated.
Gus: Okay, so tell us what was behind your thinking behind building your own pool?
Tommy: Well, my neighbor put one in. Hired whole crew and an architect, whole nine yards. I thought it’s basically a hole puts a hose, why overthink it?
Gus: And when did things go wrong?
Tommy: Almost immediately, Guss. My problem started when I tried to pour the concrete while I was still digging to save time.
Gus: Oh, wow.
Tommy: Oh, wow. That’s right. Cut to I’m up to my waist in hard concrete screaming, “Help, someone turn off the hose.”
Gus: So you were already running the hose?
Tommy: To fill the pool to save time. Yes. Had to have it open for New Year’s.
Gus: Well looking back, any regrets?
Tommy: I do wish I hadn’t punctured my septic tank. That’s a whole different kind of pool.
Gus: Thanks for coming, Tommy.
Tommy: Thanks for allowing me.
[Tommy walks out]Gus: Well, our next guest thought he should “do his own electrical.” Please welcome Felix Cruz.
[Felix walks in. He has burn marks all over his body and face.]Felix: Hello. Hey, Guys. Long time, first time.
Gus: You mean longtime watcher, first time guest?
Felix: No, first time electrocuted, long time it hurt.
Gus: So how did you decide to do your own electrical work?
Felix: Yeah, I keep telling my wife it’s just wires. Babe, it’s just wires. Honey, nothing’s gonna happen, it’s wires. You know when you see a guy diffusing bulbs in the movie, you think “I could do that.”
Gus: I’ve never thought that.
Felix: Well, I have. A lot. So I thought “What the hell? I’m gonna install my own circuit breaker.”
Gus: Oh my god.
Felix: No, no, trust me. There is no God. Now, the whole idea of a breaker is to stop a power surge. Right? So I think I should start with the power dialed all the way up because that’s what I’m trying to protect myself against. Right?
Gus: That is very bad logic.
Felix: So, I got these thing cranked up higher than lightning. And I’m like trying to screw in the middle schools, right?
Gus: No, not right.
Felix: Cut to I fly so hard through a sheet of drywall that my scream physically detaches from my body and travels at a slower speed. Kind of like Peter Pan’s shadow detaching from his body.
Gus: Yeah, I get it.
Felix: So after I hit the steel support column, wiping out the entire first floor of my home, I am hit in the face by my own scream. It’s wild, right?
Gus: Yeah, wild. And what did you learn from all of this?
Felix: Gloves? You got you got to wear gloves?
Gus: Well, thank you, Felix.
Felix: Yes. Excited to get my check.
Gus: There’s no check. Alright. And final guest says that she’s been trying to repair her home for months. Please welcome– What? This can’t be right. My wife, Carlisa. [Carlisa walks in] Hey, baby. What you doing here?
Carlisa: Oh, just trying to repair my home. [pointing at Gus] This damn fool is out here pretending he’s a big expert. Meanwhile, his own house is literally falling apart.
Gus: Well, if you have a problem, baby, I’m happy to fix it.
Carlisa: With what? This is your toolbox. But that no tools in here though. It’s just cans of Blatz beer.
Gus: Ay, I’ve been looking for those.
Carlisa: There’s no tools in this whole goofy ass workshop. It’s just chocolate bars that look like tools.
Gus: Sometimes I get a little hobby.
Carlisa: Meanwhile, our toilet hasn’t worked in months. I opened the lid of the tank and saw this.
[There’s a picture of water container filled with ice and sausages.]Gus: Well, you never know when you might need ice cold hot dog.
Carlisa: And then you snuck some crushed up peanut shells into our son’s lunch to try to prove that he was faking his peanut allergy.
[son walks in. His tongue is full of allergies blabbering and complaining, angry at Gus.]Gus: Well, the important thing is that I trust you now. Okay. I still think he might be exaggerating a little bit.
Carlisa: Gus, what do you have to say for yourself?
Gus: Look, I think it’s pretty clear that I’m “In Over My Head.”
Carlisa: No, don’t you dare sing that damn jingle to me? No. This man sucked up a wasp nest with a vacuum and now he won’t even throw it away.
Gus: Listen, Dyson–
Carlisa: Idiot. You’re an idiot.
Gus: [giving her chocolate that looks like a tool.] You want some of this?