Mr. Greene Tom… Kenan Thompson
Pink flower… Chloe Fineman
Orange flower… Jake Gyllenhaal
Yellow flower… Cecily Strong
Red flower… Chris Redd
Honey bee… Bowen Yang
Weed… Kyle Mooney
[Starts with Mr. Greene Tom watering the flowers in his garden]
Mr. Greene Tom: All right, my beautiful little spring bulbs. You’re getting bigger every day. And it looks like you’re thirsty for sprinkle.
Pink flower: Thank you Mr. Greene. We love those little sprinkles.
Orange flower: I know I love em’ a lot.
[Red flower blossoms]
Red flower: Excuse me. I’m a little confused. Yesterday I was just above in the earth. And now I’m different.
Yellow flower: Welcome to the flower bed, friend. We wondered when you’d arrive.
Pink flower: Yeah. You’re a late bloomer.
Orange flower: Not sexually. Just as a flower.
Yellow flower: You’re gonna like it here. Just about everything is perfect because
[singing] It’s spring, well everywhere, but I hope
Orange flower: Because there is still a lot of snow
Pink flower: but spring has finally sprung
All: Yeah, spring has finally sprung
Red flower: You’re right. I do like it here.
Hooray for spring and zing and Easter things
All: Spring, spring, spring, spring, spring
[A honey bee comes]
Honey bee: Hey everybody, what are we talking about?
Orange flower: We were just saying how wonderful spring is Mr. Bee?
Honey bee: Oh, yeah, spring is the best. Love Spring. [Honey bee starts to rub his bottom on Orange flower and moan. It looks sexual.]
Orange flower: Hey, wait. What are you doing?
Honey bee: What? I’m just doing what bees do. It’s okay.
Orange flower: It doesn’t feel okay.
Pink flower: It looks like you’re having sex with his head.
Honey bee: No, no, I’m just getting pollen on my my legs or whatever. It’s all very natural and necessary.
[Honey bee jumps to Pink flower]
Pink flower: Wait! Don’t do me after you just did him.
Yellow flower: [disgusted] Can you believe this?
Red flower: I know! It’s like, when is it gonna be my turn?
Honey bee: Oh, I’ll get to everybody.
Red flower: Oh god, it tickles.
Honey bee: Shut up, shut up. I’m close.
Orange flower: What do you do with all this pollen anyway?
Honey bee: I basically squeeze a load of goop out of my butt and then people eat it. Pretty kinky, right?
Mr. Greene Tom: Ay! Get out of here, you silly bee! Don’t you be bothering my pretty flowers.
Pink flower: Wow, thank goodness that’s over.
[weed pops up]
Weed: Yeah, pretty harrowing, right?
Orange flower: Wait, who are you?
Weed: Just another flower. Like you guys?
Yellow flower: Are you sure you’re not a weed?
Weed: I’m a flower. Hey, can I choke you a little bit?
Pink flower: Choke me? No.
Weed: Okay. Why not though? I think you might like it.
Orange flower: Hey, get away from us, weirdo. You’re not a flower. You don’t belong here.
Weed: Oh, you don’t think I belong here? You don’t want me in your little gated flower community? Are you hearing this ball?
Red flower: Ah-hah.
Weed: Come on! Just let me choke you.
Pink flower: Stop!
Yellow flower: Can you believe this?
Red flower: I know. It’s like, when is it going to be my turn?
Mr. Greene Tom: Ay! Go away, you stupid weed. Take that! [puts medicine on it]
Weed: Ah! You can kill me but you can’t kill the revolution.
Pink flower: Wow. A lot happens in this garden bed.
Red flower: At least today hasn’t been all bad. We’re all together and there’s not a cloud in the sky.
Pink flower: Wait. There is a cloud.
Yellow flower: Why is the cloud so furry?
Orange flower: And why does the cloud have a dog penis? [a pug is on the garden]
Mr. Greene Tom: Mr. Peanut, don’t do that on my flowers.
[pug pees on flowers]
Pink flower: Ah! what is that? What is that hot liquid?
Orange flower: It’s so salty.
Red flower: I don’t mind.
Yellow flower: I’m getting out of here. Oh my god! I don’t have legs. Where are my legs?
Pink flower: Make it stop!
Orange flower: It’s so dark! this dog must be dehydrated.
Red flower: Ah! When is it gonna be my turn?
Mr. Greene Tom: Get out of there, Mr. Peanut. Oh my poor flowers are soaked.
Pink flower: Wow, I guess maybe being a flower isn’t always cracked up to be.
Yellow flower: Don’t say that. Don’t you ever. It’s been a long gray winter and people need us. Our beautiful colors and our sweet aromas. Even if right now we don’t exactly smell so good.
All: Ha-ha-ha-ha.
Orange flower: Yeah, right. Look at the smile on Mr. Greene Tom’s face right now.
Mr. Greene Tom: All right, let’s see which one is gonna look good on the vase buys on my table.
[Mr. Greene Tom cuts off a flower]
Orange flower: [screaming in pain] Ah! Ah!
[green blood is spilled all over other flowers.]
Pink flower: Oh, they killed Jake Flower-haal.
Yellow flower: Oh my god. Is that who that was?
Weed: Man, this garden is crazy. Can I choke you a little bit?
Red flower: Finally, ha-ha-ha.