Dawn Lazarus… Vanessa Bayer[Starts with Michael Che in his set]
Michael Che: The eastern seaboard was slammed by two massive winter storms in seven days canceling thousands of flights and leaving millions without power. Now, third storm may be on the way. Here to explain is Weekend Update meteorologist, Dawn Lazarus.[Cut to Dawn Lazarus in her Weather news set] [cheers and applause]
Dawn Lazarus: Thank you Mi-ka-kel. You got that right. We’re looking at not one, not two but two big biggies. Some are the biggest bids we’ve seen in quite a times. Absolutely dump after dump. Wow![Cut to Michael Che]
Michael Che: I’m sorry. I’m having trouble understanding what you’re saying.[Cut to Dawn Lazarus]
Dawn Lazarus: Well, it’s simple. Windy winds are coming out of your north and your east, pushing it way down into that major cold cohooting. Yeah?[Cut to split screen with Michael Che and Dawn Lazarus]
Michael Che: Yeah what?
Dawn Lazarus: What?
Michael Che: You sounded like you had more to say.
Dawn Lazarus: Yup.
Michael Che: Is something wrong, Dawn? Only about half of what you’re saying makes sense.[Cut to Dawn Lazarus]
Dawn Lazarus: It’s live TV and its a bit nervous, okay? Cameras will make that mouth go poop.[Cut to Michael Che]
Michael Che: Alright. What can you tell us about why there’s been so many storms?[Cut to Dawn Lazarus]
Dawn Lazarus: Yeah. What a wow it’s been out in that side. This year’s got temps in this simple dipits. Why? Global warming. We treat that earth like a big bitch. Okay?[Cut to Michael Che.]
Michael Che: Okay. So, it seems like storms are becoming more common. Do you have any tips for how to prepare or–?[Cut to Dawn Lazarus]
Dawn Lazarus: Um. De- bet ya. First of, be sure to keep it safety. And hey, if you gotta go car on those icy roads, slowing it right down will be the bib pop of deal, nakay?[Cut to Michael Che]
Michael Che: Yeah. Nakay. So, are you able to tell us whether there’s gonna be another storm?[Cut to Dawn Lazarus. She is facing backwards.]
Dawn?[Dawn Lazarus turns around]
Dawn Lazarus: Yeah?[Cut to split screen with Michael Che and Dawn Lazarus]
Michael Che: Is there another storm on the way?
Dawn Lazarus: Shoe don’t know.
Michael Che: Okay. Dawn Lazarus, everybody.
Dawn Lazarus: Thank it.
Michael Che: Thank it? For Weekend Update, I’m Michael Che.
Dawn Lazarus: I’m Colin Jost. Goodnight.