Kylo Ren… Adam Driver
Mikey Day
Chloe Fineman
Melissa Villaseñor
Beck Bennett
Bowen Yang
[Starts with different clips of Star Wars]
Male voice: Five years ago, supreme leader of the first order, Kylo Ren went undercover in his organization and pledged to change his company for the better. Tonight, we’ll find out if he kept his promise in an Undercover Boss special. Where are they now? Kylo Ren.
[Cut to Kylo Ren]
Kylo Ren: I’ll say it. I haven’t been the best boss lately. I’ve been a little distracted by some personal drama
Male voice: Drama is right. Days after appearing in our show, Kylo killed his dad, cut his mentor in half, fired upon his mother’s space craft, and he’s now obsessed with finding a young jedi named Ray. So, Kylo is going back undercover to get things on track. [Kylo Ren is dressing up and wearing wig] But this time as Randy, an entry level intern.
Kylo Ren: Time to get our fresh perspective. Let’s intern.
[Cut to Mikey and Chloe]
Mikey: She put it on the wrong side!
[Mikey showing the papers to the other staffs]
Female voice: Hidden cameras were placed all over the ship and no one knows Randy is really Kylo Ren.
[Kylo Ren walks in]
Kylo Ren: Hey guys, I’m Randy, the new intern. Okay, boomer! Right?
[The other staffs are confused]
Mikey: [fake laughing] Ha-ha-ha. Alright.
Kylo Ren: So, hey, what do you guys think? When Kylo Ren offers Ray his hand for the second time, do you think she’ll take it?
Melissa: Who cares?
[Kylo Ren moves his face close to Melissa’s]
Kylo Ren: I do! I do!
Melissa: Okay.
[Cut to Kylo Ren narrating]
Kylo Ren: So, I’ve learned all the interns here do all the bitch work. Clerical stuff, food and drink orders, droid wrangling.
[Cut to Kylo Ren talking to a stormtrooper]
Kylo Ren: Excuse me. Do you know who’s in charge of fuel invoices?
Stormtrooper: Oh, yeah. I think you’re looking for Deez Nuts!
[Stormtrooper walks away]
Kylo Ren: Hilarious! Said no one ever.
[Cut to Kylo Ren narrating]
Kylo Ren: Everyone’s been really nice so far. Some, more than others.
[Cut to Beck during his presentation.]
Beck: The fleet is amassing on exogol.
[Kylo Ren walks in with the drinks]
Kylo Ren: One blue star milk?
Beck: That’s mine. With sarlacc cream. Yes.
Kylo Ren: Oh! I’ll go back.
Beck: Don’t go back. Straws? [Kylo Ren doesn’t have it] Great! We’ll just suck it out of a hole in the top. Thank you, Randy. Goodbye! Bye now!
[Kylo Ren is staring at Beck] Good– Beck’s head bursts.
Kylo Ren: Oh, my god! Are you okay?
[Cut to stormtrooper]
Stormtrooper: That new inter’s Kyle Ren, right?
[Cut to Kylo Ren fixing the printer]
Kylo Ren: Load sheets on tray B, I just did that.
Mikey: It thinks the tray is empty.
[Kylo Ren stares at the printer and the printer explodes]
[Cut to Mikey gossiping about Kylo Ren in the intern’s room]
Mikey: He broke another printer. And did you hear? He killed some admiral.
Bowen: Earlier, he came up to me and was like, so in my face. He aggressed me. He aggressed me.
[sound of someone screaming]
Female voice: That night, Kylo is invited to Friday Fun Day drinks in the intern office.
[Chloe is crying]
Kylo Ren: What’s wrong?
Chloe: [sobbing] Um, nothing. I applied to be a type fighter pilot and the director, he was like, “The only way for a woman to fly cockpit is a direct order from Kylo Ren.” Like that will ever happen.
[Cut to Kylo Ren narrating]
Kylo Ren: The culture here needs to change. Everybody deserves a shot. If I can be a small part of that change, I will.
[Cut to next morning Chloe walking to find a helmet with a ‘Welcome to the team, pilot. -Kylo Ren’ message on it.]
Kylo Ren: Congratulations.
Chloe: I’m so happy right now.
Kylo Ren: Maybe one of these days you’ll be as good a pilot as Kylo Ren.
Chloe: Kylo Ren? Shh! Na! I wanna fly like Luke Skywalker.
[Kylo Ren stabs Chloe with his laser sword and then whispers in her ear.]
Kylo Ren: And now, you’ll die like him too. Okay, Boomer?
[Cut to Kylo Ren narrating]
Kylo Ren: Well, how did it go? I’d say pretty good. I made four new friends and killed one of them. I’d say that’s a pretty good start.
[Cut to Undercover Boss video bumper]
[The End]