Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 7: Episode 1







81a: (none) / Rod Stewart

The Little Richard Simmons Show

Little Richard Simmons.....Eddie Murphy

[ Little Richard Simmons runs on stage crowded with fat women in leotards ]

Little Richard Simmons: Thank you, thank you! How are you today? [ audience answers "Good!" ] That's good that we feel good! I feel great! [ looks towards the cameramen ] Oh, my.. David, can we get a shot of this over here? [ camera shows excessively overweight cameraman with belly hanging over his belt ] David! This is disgusting! [ walks up to the cameraman ] Oh! Oh, you girls have let yourself go! It's time you shape up or ship out! We're gonna do some exercise! Everyone ready? [ audience responds cheerfully ] Come on, everybody, let's do it! [ coaxes the audiecne to rise and join him for some exercise ] Everyone, stand up, come on! Stand up, before I smack someone! Here we go! [ demonstrates exercise on apron of stage ] It's very easy - like this! And 1, and 2, and 3, and 4.. are you ready? Are you ready?! [ music starts ] Do you know what day it is? [ turns around ] Girls, do you know what day it is?

Girls: Your protein day!

Little Richard Simmons: That's right! I've been getting my protein. Have you, girls? Anyway, let's go.. and 1, and 2, and 3.. are you ready? Let me hear it! [ audience responds "Yeah!" ]

[ singing ]

"Ready, set, go fat go!
I know a girl who's butt hangs low
She's flabby
Yeah, she's flabby
Ooh, she's flabby!
Fatty, fatty, fatty
If she stepped on your foot,
she'd mash your toe!"


[ music changes - "Good Golly, Miss Molly" ]

"Good golly, Miss Molly!
Looks like a hog.
Good golly, Miss Molly!
Looks like a hog.
Oooohhh!
Well, you better start a-running
because it's much too late to jog
From the early, early morning
to the early, early night
You're just a fat disgusting blob of cellulite. Good golly, Miss Molly!
Looks like a hog.
Oooohhh!
Well, you better start a-running
because it's much too late to jog."


Come on, everybody, go!
[ sax player enters ]

"Tutti frutti, ah roody
Tutti frutti, ah roody
Tutti frutti, ah roody
Tutti frutti, ah roody
Tutti frutti, ah roody
Wop bom a loo mop, a mop bam boom!
Know a girl named Daisy
the girl is fat and lazy
Know a girl named Daisy
the girl is fat and lazy
Blubber to the east
Blubber to the west
The bitch got long and flabby breasts.
Tutti frutti, ah roody
Tutti frutti, ah roody
Tutti frutti, ah roody
Wop bom a loo mop, a mop bam boom!"



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