Larry King's News & Views I

Larry King.....Norm MacDonald

[Bespectacled, suspender-wearing talk show host Larry King bends over his typewriter and cranks out his newspaper column.]

Announcer: If you're not reading "Larry King's News & Views" in USA Today, then you're missing out on the issues that matter.

Larry King: [into the camera] This is "News and Views." You heard it here first, gang: if you only see one film the rest of your life, it should be "Jungle 2 Jungle"!

Baltimore is a dirty, ugly city!

Is it just me or is anyone else sick and tired of the Pope?

There isn't a better singer in the world than Boz Scaggs!

Sometimes I wonder if giving women the right to vote wasn't a huge mistake!

Of all the laws of nature, the most important one just might be -- gravity!

I don't care what anyone says. In my book, Ellen DeGeneres is not gay!

Two "must-dos" in Washington, D.C.: you must visit the Holocaust Museum and you must eat a corn dog at Chirpy's!

Actor Don Johnson: one class act!

I have no tolerance for people who commit rape.

Coca-Cola is a terrific cola but so is Pepsi-Cola!

Does anybody remember yo-yos?

I am still not a fan of Muhammad Ali!

Announcer: This has been U.S.A. Today's "News & Views with Larry King."

Submitted Anonymously

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