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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 7: Episode 6

81f: Bernadette Peters / The Go’Go’s, Billy Joel

Hidden Photo

Allen Funt…..Joe Piscopo
Waitress/Woman…..Christine Ebersole

[ open on wide shot of studio audience, as “Hidden Photo” theme song plays ]

[ zoom in on bearded man in the audience ]

Jingle: “Wow! You’re on Hidden Photo”!

Announcer: And now, Mr. Hidden Photo himself!

[ dissolve to close-up of TV screen with title screen, pull back to reveal Allen Funt in his studio ]

Allen Funt: We believe that there is NOTHING more hilarious… than people caught in the act of being themselves! You know, one of the BEST-LOVED gags of all time is the old Hot Foot! Remember that? Right? Well, we went to the Teaneck Diner in New Jersey to try a variation on the old Hot Foot! We call it the Hot Fork!

[ he turns to face the monitor, as the footage appears ]

[ dissolve to full-screen footage ]

Allen Funt V/O: Now, the speciality of the house is the Cheesecake.

Diner: [ to Waitress ] Cheesecake.

Waitress: Cheesecake. [ she exits to the kitchen ]

[ cut to a fork being heated over an open grill ]

Allen Funt V/O: The kitchen has been heating the fork ’til it glows red hot! Watch.

[ the heated fork is pressed down on a steak, which sizzles immediately ]

Allen Funt V/O: Now, that’s HOT! But, just to make sure…

[ the fork is held back over the open grill ]

[ cut to Funt in the kitchen placing the cheesecake on the counter and ringing the bell ]

[ the Waitress brings the cheesecake and the hot fork to the diner ]

Allen Funt V/O: She’s expecting a bite of cool, creamy cheesecake! What she’s gonna get… is a mouthful of seared flesh!

[ the diner cuts a piece of cheesecake with her fork and brings it into her mouth. She screams and hops out of her seat as the Waitress alughs hysterically. ]

[ cut to a Male Diner receiving a slice of cheesecake ]

Allen Funt V/O: Now, watch this big guy here!

[ the Male Diner puts the cheesecake into his mouth, then nearly gags on it as his mouth burns… then he begins to shout obscenities ]

[ cut to the Waitress bringing cheesecake to two Japanese businessmen ]

Waitress: This is called Cheese…cake! It’s an American dessert. You like to try?

[ the Japanese businessmen laugh, then politely unfold their napkins in preparation to eat the cheesecake ]

Allen Funt V/O: Now, these fellas probably can’t speak a word of English! But, as you all know, pain is an international language!

[ the Japanese businessmen put the cheesecake in their mouthes, then jump up and start screaming into their napkins ]

[ suddenly, Funt emerges from the kitchen, laughing, and raps his arm around the two businessmen as the Waitress returns, also laughing ]

Allen Funt: Guys… [ he points ] Look in that camera right there! Look at that camera! Huh? You recognize me, right?

[ the scene freezes, then dissolves back to Funt in his studio ]

Allen Funt: Boy, I bet it’ll be a long tme before any of those fellows order cheesecake again! You know, New York is famous for its street characters, and we want you to meet one of our favorites! Watch!

[ dissolve to footage of a blind man standing on a street corner with his seeing-eye dog ]

Allen Funt V/O: Anybody who hangs around the corner of 6th Avenue and Vinetta is BOUND to see him. His name is Willie. Willie, of course, is blind… but that doesn’t stop him from selling pencils. We’re gonna have some fun with Willie. Watch!

[ crew member places a “Vicious Dog, Stay Away!!!” sign over Willie’s “Help Me, I’m Blind” sign ]

[ reveal camera crew in plain sight, snickering ]

Allen Funt V/O: Now, this is one time we didn’t even have to conceal the camera!

[ reveal woman (the fake waitress from earlier) standing next to Willie ]

Allen Funt V/O: Now, watch — watch! She’s gonna distract him…

[ the woman bumps into Willie ]

Woman: I’m sorry, excuse me. But these are very lovely pencils, can I have one? May I have a red one, please?

[ a crew member enters the scene and removes Willie’s dog, as Willie hands the woman a pencil ]

Woman: No, no… that’s not red! That’s purple!

[ the crew member ties a pig to Willie’s leash, then prompts the pig to run down the street, pulling a hapless Willie with him ]

[ the scene freezes, then dissolves back to Funt in his studio ]

Allen Funt: [ laughing ] Just beautiful! You know, our show has been around for TWENTY YEARS! And the piece of film we’re about to show you TILL makes us laugh! We went to the Salisbury Elementary School in Westbury, New York to see what would happen if we told a group of third-graders that their parents were putting them up for adoption! Watch!

[ dissolve to black-and-footage of a little girl ]

Allen Funt V/O: Meliisa, I called you out of class to tell you your Mommy and Daddy are putting you up for adoption. [ the girl is stunned ] That’s right — they don’t love you any more, and they’re giving you away!

[ she lowers her head, her eyes droop, and she begins to weep pitifully ]

Allen Funt V/O: We told the same thing to every kid in the class, and every one of them reacted the same!

[ cut to a boy scout crying and lowering his head onto the desk ]

[ cut to another boy running across the room, screaming, as he knocks a chair to the floor and throws himself against the wall ]

[ cut to a little girl wearing a crown, as she cries with her face agaisnt the wall ]

Allen Funt V/O: Now, come on, Debby — give me the crown! [ she holds onto her crown ] I’m giving it to another little girl, whose parents love her and want to keep her! Debbie, listen to me! It’s time to go to the orphanage! [ she keeps crying ] Debbie…

[ the scene freezes, then dissolves back to Funt in his studio ]

Allen Funt: [ choking with laughter ] It’s SO easy to fool kids, isn’t it! Debbie learned the HARD way that… sometime, somewhere, someplace when you LEAST expect it, someone might come up to you and say…

[ cut to the audience ]

The Audience: “Smile! You’re on “Hidden Photo”!”

Allen Funt: Goodnight, everybody!

[ the jingle playsw out to fade ]

SNL Transcripts

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 7: Episode 6

81f: Bernadette Peters / The Go’Go’s, Billy Joel

Escape From New York Films

[ open on theater marquee for “Escape From New York” ]

Announcer: It’s 1981.

[ cut to audiences sitting restlessly inside the theater ]

Announcer: A New York theater is NOW a maximum security prison, in which audiences are FORCED to watch a SICKENING film!

[ cut to montage of stills from the film ]

Announcer: NEVER has such mindless film EXPLODED on the screen.

Kurt Ruusell IS the Bore.

Donald Pleasance IS the English Ham.

Adrienne Bimbo IS the Director’s Wife.

[ cut to audience members scrambling from their seats ]

Announcer: They have 24 hours to KILL every living trace of wit and intelligence. This is the story of a crazed audience that cannot survive such a vicious onslaught of stupidity. UNLESS they…

[ cut to title card ]

Announcer: “Escape From Escape From New York”.

[ cut to circular pan of the theater district ]

Announcer: And at a theater directly next door… the ironic, bittersweet story of how a crazed audiences escaped from “Escape From New York”… ONLY to be trapped in the latest nine-hour version of a cinematic classic by Martin Scorcese:

[ cut to theater marquee ]

Announcer: “New York, New York”.

Robert DeNiro IS the Mumbler.

Liza Minnelli IS the Dog.

Abandon all hope of waking up, UNLESS you…

[ cut to title card ]

Announcer: “Escape From New York, New York”.

[ fade ]

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 7: Episode 6

81f: Bernadette Peters / The Go’Go’s, Billy Joel

A Message To Young White Viewers

…..Eddie Murphy
Sammy…..Eliot Wald

Announcer: A message to all our young white viewers.

Eddie Murphy: Hello, I’m Eddie Murphy and I’m here to tell you the importance of a good education. I’m 20 years old and a high school graduate. I studied at Nassau community college for about two weeks. I have no formal theatricaltraining what so ever yet I’m one of the stars of the new Saturday Night Live. I also make more in a week than mostwhite people make in a year. Which leaves me to the conclusion that in 1981 a good education is just as imporant asa warm bucket of hamster vomit. That’s right, all you white kids in school are wasting your sweet precious time because life is luck. You’re either lucky or you’re a bum from the beginning. So stop kidding yourself, drop out. Go have some fun, drink some beer. Get each other pregnant and play Space Invaders. You know, you white kids take life so seriously. Quit school and be successful like me.

(Sammy the limo driver appears)

Sammy: Excuse me Mr. Murphy, you’re limosuine’s waiting.

Eddie Murphy: Thanks Sammy. Sammy went to Harvard.

Submitted by: Nick Johnson

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 7: Episode 6

81f: Bernadette Peters / The Go’Go’s, Billy Joel

Johnny Keep Your Gun Clean

Betty Boop…..Bernadette Peters

[ TITLE CARD: “The War Department Presents” ]

[ dissolve to TITLE CARD: “Betty Boop in Johnny Keep Your Gun Clean” ]

[ iris onto black-and-white scenery highlighted by an inkwell, as the cap pops off and Betty Boop emerges from within ]

Bety Boop: [ singing ] “For all you G.I. privates who are standing at attention… [ she salutes ]
There is something kind of personal I’d really like to mention.

We think it’s quite terrific that you’re in the South Pacific
Just be good and careful that you don’t fall in a trap.
Don’t come home to Betty with a nasty dose of… [ she claps her hands together ]
Johnny, keep your gun clean!

I want to be loved by you
Just you and nobody else but you
I want to be loved by you alone.
Boop-boop-a-doop!

Don’t come home from France, with the enemy in your pants!

Who can love a Sarge, with a dishonorable discharge?

Better stop your drillin’, or you’ll be on penicillin!

I’m waiting for you patiently, I’d really love to see ya’.
But don’t come home to Mama, with a case of gonerrhea!

Oh!
I want to be loved by you
Just you and nobody else but you
I want to be loved by you alone.
Boop-boop-a-doop!

Keep it clean!
Keep it clean, fellas!”

[ she salutes and smiles, as the scenery irises out ]

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 7: Episode 6

81f: Bernadette Peters / The Go’Go’s, Billy Joel

Making Love Alone

written by: Cheryl Hardwick and Marilyn Suzanne Miller

…..Bernadette Peters

[ open on Bernadette Peters standing before piano ]

Bernadette Peters: [ singing ]
“A log thrown on a fire… two profiles met as one
The igniting of desire in the air.
But when there’s just one profile, and yet desire grows
Despite the fact there’s no one else to care.

Must romance be abandoned as it’s fanning its own flame?
Waiting to burst full-blown?
There’s a special kind of bliss, not engendered by a kiss.
Surreptitiously indulged in less well known.
For when one cannot make love with another…
One can still make love alone.

There’s a certain special magic, to the touch of your own hand.
And a special thrill of knowing that you will for sure be feeling grand.
And that tender smell of rapture, you don’t have to try to postpone
that’s what it’s like when you’re making love alone.

Oh, the sweet, sweet sound of your own breathing, as the sky turns pale pink to hot
and the special thrill of knowing that you will not catch God-only-knows what. It’s the kind of love that fits hand in glove, and bursts like a bud full-blown.
That’s what it’s like when you’re making love alone.

Who can describe the special sweetness of knowing the speed that you’re going is right?
And is there anything as thrilling as trying to keep the book open, to page 24 all night?

And, oh
The calm and tender door you have taken, so lovely, an object of love addiction
It’s trite, but there’s nothing quite so sweet, as sweet nothings you say to yourself.
?????, you may outgrow your own.
That’s what it’s like when you’re making love alone.

The wondrous hue of aberration, as you listen to your own sighs
And the pools of perfect adoration, as you see you in your eyes.
It’s the kind of love that fits hand in glove
When the lips that meet are your own.

‘Cause the date you can’t see their faces
The one who knows all the best places
Who’ll never ask your sign on the phone
Due to the simple magic of making love
Not taking, faking, or mistaking love
But The simple magic of making love alone
Save on cologne!

That’s what it’s like when you’re making love alone!”

[ fade ]

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 7: Episode 6


]]>

Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:


November 14th, 1981

Bernadette Peters

The Go-Go’s

Billy Joel

None
Texxon

Montage

Johnny Keep Your Gun CleanTranscript

Escape From New York FilmsTranscript

I Married A MonkeyRecurring Characters: Tim.

A Message From Eddie MurphySummary: Eddie Murphy delivers a message to white kids about the importance of going to college.

Transcript

Hidden Photo

Bedtime Story

Billy Joel Teaser

The Go-Go’s perform “Our Lips Are Sealed”

Man Ray & MicSummary: William Wegman sets up a microphone in front of his weimaraner Man Ray.

Power FailureTranscript

Bernadette Peters sings “Making Love Alone”Transcript

Billy Joel performs “Miami 2017”

42nd Street

SNL Newsbreak with Brian Doyle-MurrayRecurring Characters: David A. Stockman.

The Go-Go’s perform “We Got The Beat”

Nick the Knock

Billy Joel performs “She’s Got A Way”Lyrics

Rock ‘n Roll Heaven Inc.

Goodnights

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 7: Episode 5

81e: Lauren Hutton / Rick James & The Stone City Band

Whisper

…..Lauren Hutton
Husband…..Tim Kazurinsky

[ open on Lauren Hutton lounging inside her bathtub ]

Lauren Hutton: Hi. I’m Lauren Hutton. And I believe in pampering myself, giving my body the special care it deserves. What’s my secret to softer and younger-looking skin? [ whsipering ] Let me “whisper” it to you. [ she holds up product ] New Whisper is a balanced blend of soothing herbs, rich emulants, and creamy moisturizers with a scent of… [ she sniffs the bubbles ] alpine flowers. But… Whisper does a LOT more than just keep my skin looking dewy-soft. [ she lifts a glass from under the bubbles ] It gets my glassware virtually SPOTLESS! Its powerful emulsifying agents cut through grease to get my dishes SPARKING clean! [ she lifts up a china dish ] You know how tough those tuna casseroles can get. [ she lifts up a casserole dish ] With Whisper, baked-on food just WIPES away! [ she sponges the casserole residue off of the dish ] Whether it’s this morning’s sausage and eggs — [ she lifts a frying pan ] or the burnt remains of last night’s pot roast — [ she lifts a pot ] or, even… [ she struggles to lift an item ] even Sparky’s bowl! [ she lifts a dog dish ] Whisper keeps me AND my dishes squeaky-clean!

[ Hutton’s husband enters carrying a tray of utensils ]

Husband: Honey, you forgot the silverware!

Lauren Hutton: Oh!

[ he dumps the silverware and tray into the bathwater, then proceeds to wipe them clean ]

Lauren Hutton: New Whisper. It’s like taking a bath in your sink!

[ she joins him in cleaning the silverware by hand ]

[ fade ]

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 7: Episode 5

81e: Lauren Hutton / Rick James & The Stone City Band

Velvet Jones School Of Technology

Velvet Jones…..Eddie Murphy

Velvet Jones: Due to the overwhelming response of my last book, entitled… [ he holds up the book ] “I Wanna Be A Ho”… there is yet another high-payin’ job in demand. Hi! I’m Velvet Jones! Are you a male high school dropout between the ages of 18 and 42? Do you have three or more gold teeth in the front of your mouth? Do you like flashy coats, big cars, and like kicking women in the butt? If so, stop doing all these things for free, ’cause thanks to me, Velvet Jones, you, too, in six short weeks, can be taught to be a high-payin’ PIMP! THat’s right, it’s a well-known fact that a good pimp can make up to $250,000 a year! And just think — because it’s off the books, you can still get your welfare check! Sounds too good to be true? It is! And, basically, all you do is drive around in a big pink Cadillac, kick women in the butt, and take their money! Sounds simple? It is, when you know how. Just send for my new book, entitled… [ he holds up the book ] “I Want to Drive a Pink Cadillac, Wear Diamond Rings…” [ he flips to the back cover ] “and Kick Women in the Butt”! In it, you’ll find all the latest in clothes, and special leg exercises you can use… so when you kick your hos, they know you mean business! If you order now, I’ll throw in — absolutely free — this pamphlet called… [ he holds up pamphlet ] “12 Easy Ways to Stomp a Ho”. Here’s how to order: Rush $83.95 to “I Want to Drive a Pink Cadillac, Wear Diamond Rings, and Kick Women in the Butt”!

[ fade ]

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 7: Episode 5

81e: Lauren Hutton / Rick James & The Stone City Band

TransEastern Airlines

Counter Girl…..Christine Ebersole
Baggage Boy…..Eddie Murphy
Security Woman…..Robin Duke
Pilot…..Joe Piscopo
Stewardess…..Mary Gross

Jingle:
“High above the mountains and the rivers of this country
A silver bird is gleaming in the sun.”

Counter Girl: Hi! I’m Pam, and I’m the gal who tells you we’re overbooked!

Jingle:
“Taking kids to visit Grandma for a big Thanksgiving dinner
And Americans on business or on fun.”

Baggage Boy: Hi, I’m Hank! I’m the guy that loses your luggage!

Jingle:
“From a rancher in Wyoming, to a banker up in Boston
A nation of 200 million sings.”

Security Woman: I’m Judy. I ruin your film by putting it through the X-ray machine, and then I lie about it!”

Jingle:
“All praising our good airline and the good folks at Trans-eastern
It’s like flying in a cattle car with wings.”

Pilot: I’m Ted, and I keep you stacked up over Dallas for three hours!

Jingle: “Sing the praises of an airline.”

Stewardess: I’m Arlene, and I hassle you about carrying too much hand luggage, and make sure there are loads of boring magazines!

Jingle: “and the good folks at Trans-Eastern.”

Stewardess: Incidentally, I’m about as bright as a small appliance bulb!

Jingle: “It’s like flying in a cattle car with wings!”

Announcer: Trans-Eastern. You feel like you never left the ground. Because we treat you like dirt.

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 7: Episode 5

81e: Lauren Hutton / Rick James & The Stone City Band

Lauren’s Dressing Room

…..Eddie Murphy
…..Joe Dicso
…..Lauren Hutton
…..Joe Piscopo

[ Joe Dicso steps forward as Eddie Murphy ad-libs his Cosby mimicry for the applauding audience ]

Joe Dicso: Hey, Eddie! Lauren Hutton wants to see you — in her dressing room! [ he smiles before backing away ]

Eddie Murphy: [ intrigued ] In her dressing room? [ he faces the audience ] Excuse me!

[ fade to black, the fade in on Lauren Hutton’s dressing room ]

[ Hutton walks past a crouching stagehand to sit at the mirror and read over her scripts ]

[ a knock at the door ]

Lauren Hutton: Yes?

Eddie Murphy: Uh — Lauren! It’s me, Eddie Murphy!

Lauren Hutton: Oh, Eddie! Good! Come in!

[ Eddie enters, somewhat shyly ]

Eddie Murphy: Hello, Lauren Hutton!

Lauren Hutton: [ she laughs ] Hi, Eddie!

Eddie Murphy: How you doing? What’s up?

Lauren Hutton: Nothing. I just thought… you got some time?

[ he sits on the desk ]

Eddie Murphy: Yeah… I got a couple minutes. Why,

Lauren Hutton: Well… I just want to tell you something. And that is… you’re a star! You’re a real star.

Eddie Murphy: Oh! Well, thank you, I appreciate it!

Lauren Hutton: EVerybody out there is real glad to have you.

Eddie Murphy: Thanks a lot. Thank you.

Lauren Hutton: [ she removes her fedora and wraps her arms around her head ] And… uh… I mean, you are so funny… I don’t mean to bug you, but…

Eddie Murphy: [ curious ] What?

Lauren Hutton: I’m a little scared, my heart’s beating…

Eddie Murphy: Oh, you’ll be fine! Don’t worry about it!

Lauren Hutton: Would you do your Buckwheat for me?

Eddie Murphy: Do what?

Lauren Hutton: Buckwheat! Please! Come on!

Eddie Murphy: Oh, come on… I’m not doing Buckwheat!

Lauren Hutton: Eddie… please… one little Buckwheat!

Eddie Murphy: [ in character ] “Hi, I’m Buckwheat O-tay!” [ he gives the Okay sign ]

Lauren Hutton: [ pleased ] That’s wonderful! I mean, you are very…

Eddie Murphy: [ still in character ] “You sure are a beautiful woman, Miss Hutton!” [ she laughs ] “O-tay!”

Lauren Hutton: [ she stands ] Would you do… Stevie Wonder for me?

Eddie Murphy: Come on, Lauren! I’m not doing Stevie Wonder inside here…

Lauren Hutton: You want me to grovel? I’ll do it.

Eddie Murphy: Don’t grovel.

Lauren Hutton: Okay.

Eddie Murphy: Stop it. You want me to do Stevie Wonder?

Lauren Hutton: Yeah.

[ Eddie puts on a pair of sunglasse, tilts his head back and smiles ]

Lauren Hutton: Oh, that’s great! How about, you and me…

[ a knock at the door ]

Joe Dicso: [ peeking in ] Five minutes, Miss Hutton. [ he winks at Eddie before closing the door ]

Lauren Hutton: Oh, my God. I’ve got to change.

Eddie Murphy: Oh. You gotta change? I’ll leave, then.

Lauren Hutton: No, no! Stay here, if you can. If you’ve got time. It relaxes me a lot. [ she steps behind her changing screen ]

Eddie Murphy: It relaxes you when I’m in here?

Lauren Hutton: Yeah!

Eddie Murphy: You’re relaxed? [ he sits on the couch ] It relaxes you, huh?

Lauren Hutton: Yes.

[ Hutton flips her robe over the screen, then extends her leg within Eddie’s view and begins to pull a black stocking up her leg ]

Eddie Murphy: [ with eyes glued ] I’m gonna RELAX you, alright!

[ as Eddie watches, licking his lips, Joe Piscopo materializes next to him on the couch ]

Joe Piscopo: Forget it, Eddie!

Eddie Murphy: Hey, Joe, what are you doing in here? GEt out of here, man! Lauren Hutton wants me to relax her, and I’m going to — thoroughly! Take a walk!

Joe Piscopo: [ laughing ] Come on!

Eddie Murphy: Joe, I’m serious, man! The woman got it BAD for me, so you better leave — I’m gonna be needing this couch. Okay? She want me to put it down! So she WILL get put down.

Joe Piscopo: Wait, wait, wait. Eddie, hold on. You’re gonna make a move on Lauren Hutton?

Eddie Murphy: Damn right, I’m gonna make a move on Lauren Hutton!

Joe Piscopo: Are you sure you’re man enough?

Eddie Murphy: [ he laughs ] What are you talking about, man! I’m Eddie Murphy!

Joe Piscopo: Listen — yeah! [ he chuckles ] But we’re not talking about one of those girls from Roosevelt High, Eddie. This is Lauren Hutton, one of the most BEAUTIFUL women in the WORLD!

Eddie Murphy: Joe, I can handle her, okay?

Joe Piscopo: Yeah. You can handle her — she played opposite Burt Reynolds, Robert Redford, Richard Gere… These are white guys, do you know them?

Eddie Murphy: Joe, I don’t care if she played opposite Richard Roundtree, okay? [ Joe laughs ] She WANTS me!

Joe Piscopo: Hey, what makes you think she’d be interested in you?

Eddie Murphy: What? She thinks I’m FUNNY, man!

Joe Piscopo: Yeah, I can’t believe how young you are sometimes, man. Hey — have you ever heard of premature ejaculation?

[ Eddie’s face turns sour, as he looks about the room with worry ]

Joe Piscopo: Yeah?

Eddie Murphy: [ uneasy ] I’ll be okay…

Joe Piscopo: Yeah. Eddie, she thinks you’re funny, right?

Eddie Murphy: So…?

Joe Piscopo: Well, what if you take off your clothes, and she thinks you’re even funnier? Edie, we both know the myth isn’t true. [ he nods ]

Eddie Murphy: Oh…

Joe Piscopo: Yeah. Eddie, listen — you know, we’ve been through a lot the last couple of years. We’re pretty tight, right? So I’m just trying to save you from the embarrasment.

[ Eddie nods in agreement ]

Lauren Hutton: Eddie?

Joe Piscopo: So long, pal…

[ Joe waves and disappears into thin air ]

Lauren Hutton: Look at this. [ she steps out in a short black negligee, fully exposing her stocking tops and garters ] I mean, my God! I’m supposed to be playing an archaeologist in this next sketch! They’ve got me in THREE of these things! I think those two writers — you know, those two guys? — they just want me to be in underwear the entire time.

Eddie Murphy: [ he stands, nervously ] Yeah, well, uh… Lauren? I have to go now. Okay? You look real nice… you dress real good! Okay? You take it easy. Good night.

Lauren Hutton: Okay. Keep it up, then.

Eddie MUrphy: Yes!

[ Eddie exits the dressing room ]

[ Hutton steps back behind her dressing room, as a tinkling sound effect is heard and Joe Piscopo lifts his head over the screen and raises his eyebrows for the audience’s delight ]

[ fade ]

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