Island Man #1…..Jimmy Fallon
Island Man #2…..Jerry Minor
Island Man #3…..Charlie Sheen
Trailer Father…..Darrell Hammond
Trailer Mother…..Ana Gasteyer
Trailer Daughters…..Maya Rudolph, Rachel Dratch
Trailer Son…..Chris Kattan
Suspected Cannibals…..Horatio Sanz, Chris Parnell
[ shows a lush tropical island ]
Announcer: Coming soon to FOX: Alone on a tropical island, Five lucky men, with ten available women. [ five guys on island are seen with ten women in bikinis, who service the men ]
Island Man #1: It’s a dream come true.
Announcer: Can they handle it? Ten beautiful women. And one of them has a venereal disease.
Island Man #1: This is gonna be awesome!
Announcer: Who will be the first to get it?
Island Man #3: [ confidently ] Believe me. I will get it.
Announcer: Welcome to “Herpes Island”, where venereal disease is the name of the game. “Herpes Island”. Catch it!
Also coming to FOX: [ shows family in trailer ] One family. Alone. In one trailer. For ten weeks.
Trailer Father: [ smoking a cigarette ] Ten weeks is a long time.[ Trailer Mother is seen seducing son in bedroom ]
Announcer: Who will escape the incest in.. “Temptation Trailer”? [ the rest of family looks on, bored ] “Temptation Trailer”. Ten weeks is a long time.
On FOX, also: Keep an eye out for.. “The Cannibal”. [ some men are seen, locked in a cabin, as they look scared ] Eight men, locked in a cabin for one year with no food. Which one is.. “The Cannibal”?[ Cannibal is seen chewing on some guy’s arm ]
Cannibal: [ sheepishly ] It’s me. [ continues chewing on arm ]
Announcer: [ embarrassed] Oh boy. That one’s got problems.
That’s three brand new shows to watch out for on FOX.
Thanks to Tony DuMontfor this transcript.