SNL Transcripts: Jeff Bridges: 12/18/10: An SNL Digital Short



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 36: Episode 10




















10j: Jeff Bridges / Eminem & Lil Wayne

An SNL Digital Short

…..Andy Samberg
…..Jorma Taccone
…..Akiva Schaffer
…..Akon
…..Blake Lively
…..Jessica alba
…..John McEnroe

[Open to Andy Samberg, Jorma Taccone, and Akon standing on a stage]

(singing)

Andy Samberg: Sometimes, something beautiful happens in this world…

Akon: Akon!

Andy Samberg: And you don’t know how to express yourself, so…

Akon: And Lonely Island!

Andy Samberg: You just gotta sing.

Akon: I just had sex and it felt so good. I wanna let me put my pen*s inside of her. I just had sex and I’ll never go back to the not-having-sex ways of the past.

Andy Samberg: Have you ever had sex? I have; it felt great. It felt so good when I did it with my pen*s. A girl let me do it. It literally just happened.

[Show Blake Lively covering up after sex with Andy Samburg]

Andy Samberg: Having sex can make a nice man of the meanest.

[Cut to “before” and “after” sex pictures of John McEnroe]

Jorma Taccone: Guess where I just came from. I had sex. If I had to describe the feeling, it was the best.

[Jorma gives a thumbs up as Jessica Alba gives a thumbs down]

Jorma Taccone: When I had the sex, man my pen*s felt great and I called my parents right after I was done.

[Show Jorma hugging his parents]

[Samberg comes out of a restroom]

Andy Samberg: Oh hey, didn’t see you there. Guess what I just did. Had sex undressed, saw my poopies and the rest.

Jorma Taccone: Was sure nice of her to let you do that thing.

Andy Samberg: Nice of any girl ever. Now sing.

Akon: I just had sex and it felt so good. I wanna let me put my pen*s inside of her. I wanna tell the world…

Andy Samberg: To be honest, I’m surprised she even wanted me to do it.

Jorma Taccone: Doesn’t really make sense, but man screw it. I’m not really one to argue with a good thing.

Andy Samberg: She could be my wife.

Jorma Taccone: That good?

Andy Samberg: The best thirty seconds of my life.

Jorma Taccone: I’m so open to a girl’s ability to let me do her.

Andy Samberg: ‘Cause honestly I’d have sex with a pile of manure.

[Show Andy Samberg in bed with a pile of manure]

Andy Samberg: With that in mind I know the smell of a girl’s better.

Jorma Taccone: ‘Cause she let me wear my chain and my turtleneck sweater.

[Jessica Alba is weirded out by Jorma in his Blue Turtleneck and chain.]

Akon: So this one’s dedicated to them girls that let us f*ck around on top of them. If you’re near or far, whether short or tall, we wanna thank you all for lettin’ us f*ck you.

Jorma Taccone: She kept looking at her watch.

Akon: Doesn’t matter, you had sex.

Andy Samberg: But I cried the whole time.

Akon: Doesn’t matter, you had sex.

Jorma Taccone: I think she might have been a racist.

Akon: Doesn’t matter, you had sex.

Andy Samberg: She put a bag on my head.

Akon: Still counts! I just had sex and my dreams came true. If you had sex in the last thirty minutes then you’re qualified to sing with me.

People from all over the world: I just had sex and it felt so good. I wanna let me put my pen*s inside of her. I just had sex and I’ll never go back to the not-having-sex ways of the past.

[Fireworks]

Submitted By: Adam Rap

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

avatar
  Subscribe  
Notify of