SNL Transcripts: Miley Cyrus: 03/05/11: Les Jeunes de Paris

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 36: Episode 16

10p: Miley Cyrus / The Strokes

Les Jeunes de Paris

Francois…..Taran Killam
Marius…..Paul Brittain
French Guy…..Bobby Moynihan
Francois’ Girlfriend…..Miley Cyrus
French Girl #1…..Nasim Pedrad
French Girl #2…..Abby Elliott
Mime…..Andy Samberg

[ open on France 3 graphic, with female voiceover ]

[ cut to opening credits: Metro station, skaters, the Eiffel Tower, etc. ]

[ dissolve to Parisian club, as French Girl #1 stands in the center of the room ]

[ Francois and his buddies stand by the jukebox, laughing amongst themselves ]

[ Francois sees French Girl #1 and points her out to his approving buddies ]

[ Francois saunters over, speaks a pick-up line, then engages in some heavy lip action with French Girl #1 ]

[ suddenly, Girl enters the club ]

Francois’ Girlfriend: Francois!

[ she yells at Francois, who clumsily tries to make excuses, until: ]

Francois: Marius!

[ Marius thumps the jukebox, which begins to play “Tekitoi” by Rachid Taha ]

[ Francois holds his hands together and thrusts them between both girls, until all three begin to dance wildly at the center of the room ]

[ Francois holds out a long-stemmed rose to French Girl #1, who crumples it in her hands ]

[ Francois holds out a long-stemmed rose to the Girl, who takes a bite and chews the rose in her mouth ]

[ the entire room begins to dance wildly ]

[ Marius hands two glasses of wine to Francois, who hands one to each girl ]

[ both girls start to sip their glass of wine, then toss it in Francois’ face ]

[ everyone continues to dance wildy, as Francois dances off-frame ]

[ the two girls move closer to one another, ready to put up their dukes ]

[ Francois arises between them and tries to encourage them to fight, but they gang up on him instead ]

[ everyone continues to dance wildy again ]

[ the girls once again holds up their dukes to one another, ready for a fight ]

[ Francois arises between them again, and shoves a crepe into his mouth as the song hits a high note ]

[ Francois and the two girls dance in a ring-around-the-rosie motion, as Marius circles them ]

[ Francois’ girlfriend puts some dance moves on Marius ]

[ Francois reaches for a mime and puts some inappropriate dance moves on him ]

[ disgusted, the Mime mimes pouring water into a glass, tosses it into Francois’ face, then tugs his way out of the room across an invisible rope ]

[ French guy steps forward with a camera and flashes pictures of Francois and his gilfriend, who pose between arguing at one another ]

[ easels are placed before Francois and his girlfriend ]

[ she quickly paints a country setting ]

[ Francois quickly paints a topless man sitting on a large poodle ]

[ the two girls hold out their fists at Francois as they all perform a short dance step ]

[ two chairs are placed in the center of the room, as Francois and his girlfriend each take a seat and grab a book to read ]

[ Francois’ girlfriend reads from Camus, then reaches over to pull a Playboy Magazine from between the pages of his book and reveal her shock ]

[ Francois reaches inside the Playboy Magazine and pulls out a glass of wine, which he tosses into his own face ]

[ the chairs are pulled away, as Francois begins dancing with both girls ]

[ as the girls dance, Francois rips off his pants to reveal a red skirt, then he crosses his arms and grabs hands with each girl and continues to dance with them ]

[ a scuba diver performs a flip, then performs a split and holds up his arms at the same time as everyone else in the room ]

[ the Mime jumps in and holds his arms up with everyone else ]

[ the music and the dancing ceases ]

[ fade ]

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