SNL Transcripts: George McGovern: 04/14/84


Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

April 14th, 1984

George McGovern

Madness

Clara Peller

Frankie Pace

Madness, “Our House”

  • 60 Minutes

    Recurring Characters: Richard Nixon.

  • George McGovern’s Monologue

  • Midtown Open

  • Very, Very Hungry Man Dinners

    Recurring Characters: President Ronald Reagan.

  • Circus People Below

  • Direct Hits

  • Menage-a-Trois

  • Frankie Pace

  • Saturday Night News with George McGovern

  • Cosmos

  • Madness performs “Our House”

  • Book Beat

  • Brother George

  • Madness performs “Keep Moving”

    SNL Transcripts

  • Very Hungry, Hungry Man Dinners


    Very Hungry, Hungry Man Dinners

    Mother…..Mary Gross
    Father…..George McGovern
    President Ronald Regan…..Joe Piscopo
    Daughter…..Julia Louis-Dreyfus
    Son…..Gary Kroeger
    …..Clara Peller


    [ open on welfare dinner table ]

    Mother: Dinner! Everybody hungry?

    Father: You bet! After a day of hopeless job-hunting, I could eat a bear! [ looks on his plate ] Oh, not surplus cheese-loaf again! This is the eighteenth day in a row!

    Mother: But how can I plan an interesting menu on $11 a week? What’s a welfare mother to do?

    President Ronald Reagan: [ enters foreground of scene ] Sound familiar? Well, we here at White House Foods don’t believe that poverty-line cusine has to be boring. That’s why we’ve collected starvation-level cooking from around the Third-World for our Very Hungry, Hungry Man Dinners. [ holds up box ] [ show picture of first dinner ]

    Take the edge off those hunger pangs with Cambodian Paw ‘N Claw Combo! Big chunks of stray dogs and cats in a rich mud sauce.

    [ show picture of second dinner ]

    Put a smile on those emaciated faces with Curried Fish Heads and Bread Crusts. The dish millions of Indians paid for!

    [ show picture of third dinner ]

    Or, from right here at home, authentic American favorites, like Appalachian Black Ling Cake, with real chunks of coal!

    [ show picture of fourth dinner ]

    Or Harlem’s traditional Dead Pigeons with Paint Chips!

    [ show dinner table again ]

    Father: [ eating his Very HUngry, Hungry Man Dinner ] Honey, this African Dirt Pie is sensational!

    Daughter: And I like the crunchy bugs!

    Son: You’re a great cook, Mom!

    Mother: Well, I had a little help – from the good folks at White House!

    [ cut to Regan standing behind a counter full of Very, Very HUngry Man Dinners ]

    President Ronald Reagan: And now, try Very, Very Hungry Man Dinners for the Elderly! Featuring low-sodium Cat Food! And Very Hungry Kid’s School Lunches, complete with two vegetables – ketchup and salt! Enough to meet 100% of my federal nutrition standards!

    [ cut back to the dinner table ]

    Mother: Everybody finished? [ they all say “Yeah!” ] Anybody still hungry? [ they all say “Meee!!” ] With White House Frozen Dinners, your family will never get enough!

    [ show counterful of Dinners ]

    President Ronald Reagan V/O: Very, Very Hungry Man Dinners. They’re a feast fit for a famine!

    [ zoom out to reveal Clara Peller ]

    Clara Peller: Where’s the beef?! Where’s the beef! Where’s the beef!

    SNL Transcripts