Tommy… Benedict Cumberbatch
Warden… Alex Moffat
Lenny… Kyle Mooney
Mary… Heidi Gardner[Starts with four men working in prison]
Chris: Lord, it’s hot.
Kenan: Georgia July is hotter than a blister bug in a pepper patch.
James: And don’t the warden know it?
Warden: Alright boys, back to work now. These rocks, they ain’t gonna break themselves. And get happy now. I want to see some smiles.[music playing]
Chris: I was born on a farm on a moonless night
mama never taught me wrong from right
now I’m doing time in Georgia
All: Now I’m doing time in Georgia
Chris: Long time in Georgia
All: Long time in Georgia
Chris: I’ll be in chains till the good lord sets me free
All: Lord sets me free, yeah.
James: Now the good book said be a righteous man
but the devil pulled me down and away we ran
So they locked me up in town
All: Locked me up in town
James: Working for the county
All: Working for the county
James: I’ll be in chains till the good lord sets me free
Take it Tommy.
Tommy: If you see something bad, you know I’m gonna tell
that’s why they put me in a better prison cell
because I snitch to the warden
All: Snitch to the warden
Tommy: Snitching to the warden
All: Snitching to the warden
Tommy: Oh, lord, prison’s not so bad.
James: Wait, Tom, did you just say you were snitching to the warden?
Tommy: Yeah, that’s the way the old prison song goes.
Chris: You getting special treatment here, Tom?
Tommy: No, just singing to pass the time. Whoo-wee, it’s hot. [pulls out a fancy drink]
Chris: Where did you get that fancy drink?
Tommy: You fellas didn’t get one?
Kenan: I did not.[dogs barking]
James: Hey, what’s going on?
Chris: Oh, hell, they caught Lenny!
Warden: Well, well, well. Look who we found hiding in the storm drain down by the highway.
Lenny: But it’s impossible. How did you find me?
Mikey: Let’s just say a little birdie told us your plan. On an unrelated note. Tom, here is a cherry pie.
Tommy: Cherry pie? Mmm-mmm.
Warden: And as for you, Lenny, you know what we do with escapees. But them in the box!
Lenny: No. No, no.
Kenan: You animals. You lousy animals.
James: He’s a good man. Don’t put him in the box.
Tommy: Okay, just put them in the box for a couple of days. You guys know best.
Warden: All right, show’s over now boys. Now, unless you got a pie in your hands, get back to work.
Kenan: When I dream at night, that’s the only time I’m free
I wake up every morning in a penitentiary
Now I’m doing 10 to 20
All: Doing 10 to 20.
Kenan: Working for the county
All: Working for the county
Kenan: I’ll be in chains till the good lord sets me free
All: Lord sets me free
Tommy: If you tell me a secret I’ll pass them along
You’ll be in the box while I’m singing this song
made a deal with the warden
All: Deal with the warden
Tommy: I’ll tell him all your secrets
All: Tell him all your secrets
Tommy: Every time I snitch they bring me a big cherry pie
Kenan: Shh, here comes the warden’s wife.
Warden: Wow, if it isn’t my lovely wife, Mary. What do you do in here woman?
Mary: Oh, I was just passing by my way into town. Figured I take a gander at all these bad, bad boys. This one looks especially naughty. Are you naughty boy?
Tommy: Yes ma’am. Very naughty ma’am.
Mary: Looks like you missed a bit of cherry pie.
Tommy: Thank you kindly. It’s not like me to waste a good bit of cherry pie.[Mary laughing and flirting with Tommy]
Chris: What the hell?
Warden: Alright, Mary. I know you got some shopping to do.
Mary: Bye boys. See you later.
Warden: Well, that’s enough yapping for one day. Back to work all of you.
Tommy: Now, I can’t complain about my life
I get to sleep with the warden’s wife
sleeping with the warden’s wife
All: Sleeping with the warden’s wife
Tommy: Sleeping with his pretty wife
All: Sleeping with his pretty wife
Warden: He watches from the closet smiling in the dark
Mikey: Warden, I do believe Tom is sleeping with your wife.
Warden: Yeah, I know. I can’t please her myself. Best to let her be happy.
All: Let her be happy, let her be happy
Let her be happy, let her be happy