Dom McWeber… Martin Freeman
Jeanine… Aidy Bryant
Delivery guys… Jay Pharoah, Taran Killam
[Starts with Dom McWeber talking in front of two beautiful queen size beds.]
Dom McWeber: Hi there, folks. I am Dam McWeber. Proud owner of Waterbed Warehouse. We are Upper South Dakota’s premiere Waterbed distributor. You might have heard our jingle on the radio.
[Cut to Jeanine singing in a fancy gown]
Jeanine: [singing] Waterbed warehouse
A Waterbeds are the best!
[Cut to Dom McWeber]
Dom McWeber: That lady with the face and the eyes, that was my wife Jeanine. She looks pretty spiffy, don’t she? That dress cost me a pretty penny but it was all worth it. She writes all our catchy jingles.
[Cut to Jeanine lying on a bed. The bed sheet has her photo.]
Jeanine: That’s me, Jeanine!
[Cut to Dom McWeber]
Dom McWeber: She was a stay at home mom for the past 20 years, but recently she got called up on stages of volunteer to local magic show. That little taste of the spotlight made Jeanine realize she was born to be a star. So, daily and nightly, she insisted she become the face of Waterbed Warehouse. And I said, “Um, okay.” Hey folks, looking for the number to call and get a great Waterbed? Here it is.
[Cut to Jeanine. The phone number is appearing and disappearing on the screen.]
Jeanine: [singing] Call 1-605-555-0100
and hold that 100 down for a while
yeah, hold that number down hard
Waterbed warehouse
a Waterbed’s are the best
[She jumps on the bed that has her picture on it’s bed sheet. The rose petals fall on her.]
[Cut to Dom McWeber]
Dom McWeber: Wow. Now that is talent. So, come on down to our showroom. Off Interstate 90 by the airport, we’re releasing the spots coz we remodeled our store front.
[Cut to a picture of Waterbed Warehoue. It has big board of Jeanine’s face on it.]
[Cut to Dom McWeber]
Dom McWeber: Jeanine said all successful companies have a mascot. Like flow from Progressive and the Geico Gecko. She also kept mentioning the doritos clown which I don’t think is really a thing. Either way, there’s no sleep like a Waterbed sleep. But I’ll let my wife Jeanine explain that.
[Cut to Jeanine laying on the bed.]
Jeanine: [singing] Splashing in the night
the water around me brings me rest
the ocean is my prayer
because a Waterbed’s are the huh-huh-huh
I said a Waterbed’s are the– not quite yet!
I said a Waterbed’s are the– no, no, no
I said a Waterbeds are the best!
[Two men without shirt come in with the sparklers. They have Jeanine’s photos on their shoulders.]
[cheers and applause
Oh yeah!
[Cut to Dom McWeber]
Dom McWeber: Those are our delivery guys. And they’re great. You know what’s also great? Now through Christmas, we’ll deliver and fill you bed for free!
[Cut to Jeanine. She is wearing a rasta hat and she had dread locks now.]
Jeanine: [talking like Jamaican] For free! That deal be crazy, man!
[Cut to Dom McWeber]
Dom McWeber: Don’t worry. That’s still Jeanine! She was just doing one of her characters. I just hope I don’t lose her to Hollywood. Everyone wants a piece of Jeanine. She’s a one woman party.
[Cut to Jeanine. Hiphop beat playing.]
Jeanine: [rapping] Put your hands up
if you wanna Waterbed
put your hands up
yeah!
Everybody loves a Waterbed
fill your bed up with water if you wanna Waterbed
because…
[A big board of Jeanine’s face slides down. The mouth part opens and Jeanine puts her head on that hole.]
A Waterbeds are the best!
[Dom McWeber walks in]
Dom McWeber: So, get down to Waterbed Warehouse. Why? Because…
Dom McWeber and Jeanine: A Waterbeds are the best!