Weekend Update on a Cheating Scrabble Player

Colin Jost

Michael Che

[Starts with Colin Jost in his news set.]

Colin Jost: The association of the British Scrabble players has banned a star player for three years after he was caught cheating. In response, the player has released this statement.

[Picture changes to a scrabble board game with ‘Fuck You’ written on it.] [Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of a man’s face at right top corner.]

Michael Che: A man in Arizona is claiming that he can relieve sinus pressure in his nose by masturbating. He first made the claim while police were removing him from the bus.

[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of ‘Harry Potter’ logo at left top corner.]

Colin Jost: The makers of Pokemon Go are now developing a similar game based on the world of Harry Potter. The game will be called “Harry Potter and the Kids Who Wandered Into Oncoming Traffic.”