Beck Bennett
Jen… Cecily Strong
Doug… Jimmy Fallon
[Starts with Beck and Jen sitting on a couch]Beck: Okay, okay. On the count of three, favorite food. One, two, three.
Beck and Jen: Pizza!
Jen: Okay, wow! This feels right. I like you.
Beck: More than pizza?
Jen: Okay. Alright. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, mister. But maybe.
[Beck and Jen start kissing] [door knocking]Who could that be? It’s midnight.
[Jen opens the door. Doug walks in. He has a music player and a flower bouquet.]Doug: Hi.
Jen: [sign] Doug! What are you doing here?
Doug: I just needed to see you. I want you back.
Jen: Now is not a good time, Doug.
Doug: Wait, what? You have a guy over? We just broke up like, five days ago.
Jen: You know what? I don’t need to defend myself, Doug. Okay? You know what you did.
Doug: I know. I’m sorry. I messed up. But if you give me a chance, I promise [Doug plays music] I will love you truly, madly and deeply.
[Doug opens his raincoat. He is wearing white suit inside.] [singing very bad] I’ll be your dream, I’ll be your wish, I’ll be your fantasyI’ll be your love, I’ll be your hope, be everything that you need
I’ll love you more with every breath truly madly deeply do
I will be strong, I will be faithful coz I’m counting on [opens his coat, he is wearing a t-shirt with Jen’s face printed on it]
a new beginning, a reason for living, a deeper meaning, yeah
[two backup singers walk in wearing the same suit and same t-shirt]
Singers: I wanna stand with you on a mountain
Backup singers: Jen.
Singers: I wanna bathe with you in the sea
Backup singers: Jen.
Singers: I wanna lay like this forever
Backup singers: Jen.
Singers: Until the sky falls down on me.
Doug: So, what do you say, Jen? I know I made one of the biggest mistakes a person can make but I’m sorry. And I’m asking you to take me back… [gets down on his knees to propose with a ring] forever. What do you say?
Jen: No, Doug! You dragged a man off a plane this week!
Doug: [standing and leaving] Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Backup singers: Wait, that’s what you did?
[Jen closes the door after they leave]Jen: Sorry. Oh, I’m so sorry about him.
Beck: That’s okay. Don’t worry about him.
Jen: Anyway, back to us. Tell me more about you. what do you do?
Beck: Ah! Well, I just directed a huge Pepsi commercial.
Jen: [disappointed] No!