Allen DeGeneres… Kenan Thompson
Connie… Aidy Bryant
Ned… Matthew McConaughey
Tristen… Kyle Mooney
Hillary Clinton… Kate McKinnon
[Starts with GSN video bumper]
Male voice: You’re watching the Game Show Network. Thank you so, so, so much.
[Cut to the game show stage]
Announcer: And now it’s time for unnecessary new game show. Should You Chime In On This? And here’s your host, Allen DeGeneres.
[Allen DeGeneres walks in]
Allen DeGeneres: Yes. I am Allen DeGeneres. I got this job by accident. Now let’s do this. The game is simple. We bring out three idiots and give them hot button issues and ask them, Should You Chime In On This? The answer should always be ‘No’. Okay, let’s meet the idiots.
[Cut to Connie]
Connie: Hi. I am Connie. I used to volunteer at a quilt shop. And then I stopped after they said it wasn’t helpful to have me there. I’ve never traveled and I don’t watch the news but ISIS needs to be stopped and I know how.
[Cut to Ned]
Ned: Hi. I’m Ned Ferbach. And I want to be heard. So, I brought 20 of my own microphones. For fun, I like to travel town to town and vote ‘No’ on school budgets.
[Cut to Tristen]
Tristen: I’m Tristen. I go to NYU. And I may be white but I’m proud to say I have a friend that’s one of each, except Asian. As for work, I’d like to call myself a political activist but I can’t because I’m a waiter.
[Cut to Allen DeGeneres looking speechless]
Allen DeGeneres: You see? Idiots! Okay, Connie, you are first. Your issue is the Syrian refugee crisis.
[Cut to Connie]
Connie: Okay. Perfect.
[Cut to Allen DeGeneres]
Allen DeGeneres: Do you know anything about it?
[Cut to Connie]
Connie: Ha- I do not.
[Cut to Allen DeGeneres]
Allen DeGeneres: Have you read anything about it?
[Cut to Connie]
Connie: I have not and I barely can read.
[Cut to Allen DeGeneres]
Allen DeGeneres: And when did you first learn that Syria was a country?\
[Cut to Connie]
Connie: Just this morning.
[Cut to Allen DeGeneres]
Allen DeGeneres: Okay, great! So with that in mind, here is your question about this very complicated crisis. Should you, Connie, chime in on this?
[Cut to Connie]
Connie: Yes, I absolutely should. Now, what they need to do is–
[wrong answer buzzer]
[Cut to Allen DeGeneres]
Allen DeGeneres: No! No, Connie! You are not equipped in here. [pointing the brain] Alright Ned, you’re up. [Cut to Ned] Your issue is that Charlie Sheen has HIV. Should you chime in on this?
Ned: Hmm… This is tough.
[Cut to Allen DeGeneres]
Allen DeGeneres: No, it’s not.
[Cut to Ned]
Ned: Well, on the other hand, that is a personal, private health matter for someone that I do not personally know. But on the other hand, I have a mouth that can talk. So yes, I should chime on this. HIV was invented–
[wrong answer buzzer]
[Cut to Allen DeGeneres]
Allen DeGeneres: No. Ned, no!
[Cut to Tristen]
Tristen: Hey, Tristen here. I’d like to say that I get this game and I’m ready to just answer no.
[Cut to Allen DeGeneres]
Allen DeGeneres: Oh, my god! Finally. Well Tristen, your issue is women’s reproductive rights. Should you chime in on this?
[Cut to Tristen]
Tristen: No. [looks around proudly]
[Cut to Allen DeGeneres]
Allen DeGeneres: Oh, okay!
[Cut to Tristen]
Tristen: And the reason I said no coz we as a society need to spend more time listening and less time talking.
[wrong answer buzzer]
[Cut to Allen DeGeneres]
Allen DeGeneres: Oh, Tristen, no! That was a sneak attack chime. That’s the worst chime of all. Alright, it’s time for the photo round. This is a woman breastfeeding in a coffee shop. [A woman breastfeeding her baby appears on the screen] Connie, should you chime in on this? Hint, the answer is no.
[Cut to Connie]
Connie: Hmm, let me think. Do I know this woman?
[Cut to Allen DeGeneres]
Allen DeGeneres: No.
[Cut to Connie]
Connie: Does this affect me in any way?
[Cut to Allen DeGeneres]
Allen DeGeneres: No.
[Cut to Connie]
Connie: But am I near my computer?
[Cut to Allen DeGeneres]
Allen DeGeneres: Yes.
[Cut to Connie]
Connie: Then yes, I chime in. The bare nipple has no place in a–
[wrong answer buzzer]
[Cut to Allen DeGeneres]
Allen DeGeneres: Oh, shut up, Connie! What gives you the confidence to keep chiming in?
[Cut to Ned]
Ned: Well Allen, for me it’s my long brown braid. [pulling his long braid forward] Coz if you have one of these, you’ve got to chime in.
[Cut to Allen DeGeneres looking disgusted]
Allen DeGeneres: Ew! I didn’t even see that back there. Well okay Ned, here is your photo. [A picture of a woman holding a football appears on the screen] This 15 year old just became the first girl on her high school’s football team. Should you chime in on this?
[Cut to Ned]
Ned: Hmm… I’m not connected to that school in anyway, but I do have this big long braid. So yes, I am going to chime in. Female bones are not–
[wrong answer buzzer]
[Cut to Allen DeGeneres]
Allen DeGeneres: No. Wrong, Ned! So wrong.
[Cut to Ned]
Ned: Well, you didn’t let me finish.
[Cut to Allen DeGeneres]
Allen DeGeneres: Oh, okay. Go ahead.
[Cut to Ned]
Ned: In conclusion, all lives matter.
[emergency siren goes off]
[Cut to Allen DeGeneres]
Allen DeGeneres: And there it is, the all lives matter siren. Somebody always says it. Well I guess that means we skip to our final round. We’re gonna put some time on the clock and bring out a special guest. And all you have to do is not chime in and you’ll win $100,000. Okay, here’s the special guest.
[Cut to everyone. Hillary Clinton walks in.]
Hillary Clinton: Hi, I’m Hillary Rodham Clinton.
Allen DeGeneres: Okay, let’s put one second on the clock! Don’t talk for one second. And go!
[Cut to the contestants. They all make hate comments on Hillary Clinton.]
[Wrong answer buzzer]
[Cut to Allen DeGeneres and Hillary Clinton]
Allen DeGeneres: They couldn’t even do it for a second. Well this has been Should You Chime In On This. I am Allen DeGeneres saying everybody, shut the hell up.
[The End]