Kyle Mooney
Coco Watchout… Dwayne Johnson
Trashyard Mud… Bobby Moynihan
Host… Taran Killam
[Starts with a video clip of backstage of Wrestle Mania.]
Kyle: Okay, moving on to the next promo. Let’s get our two wrestlers in there. [Coco Watchout and Trashyard Mud walk in] Coco Watchout and Trashyard Mud. [Kyle walks out]
Trashyard Mud: Great! Hey, can’t wait to work with you man. This is gonna be great.
Coco Watchout: Oh, man! Totally. Me too. I can’t wait.
Trashyard Mud: Hey, feel free to just really let me have it in this promo, man! Don’t hold back.
Coco Watchout: Oh, you sure?
Trashyard Mud: Ya, ya! Definitely. Just go for it.
Coco Watchout: Okay, cool. Alright.
Kyle: Okay, everybody set?
[Host walks in using his phone]
Trashyard Mud: This could be fun.
Coco Watchout: Yeah, man!
Kyle: And, action!
[Host suddenly puts his phone inside his pocket and starts hosting. Coco Watchout and Trashyard Mud are making angry faces.]
[rock music playing in the background]
Host: I’m here with our main event competitors Coco Watchout and Trashyard Mud. And there is no love loss between these two, isn’t that right Mud?
Trashyard Mud: No! [barks and howls] Oh, you better watch out because when Mud gets out of the Trashyard, the first thing that he’s gonna do is take out this big old pile of stinking rotten garbage. [barks]
Host: And what do you have to say about that Coco?
Coco Watchout: Let me tell you something about this guy. He has herpes. It’s true. Oh, he’s got herpes and he’s got it bad.
Trashyard Mud: Yeah! Yeah, well, you’re gonna be rid in a body bag when I’m through with you. [barks]
Coco Watchout: Yeah? Well, you can’t have sex with anyone without having a talk first coz of your herpes. I heard your doctor said it was the most herpes he’d ever seen!
Host: Well, you heard it here first. Mud has herpes. And it gets settled this Sunday at Wrestle Mania.
Kyle: And cut!
[Host starts using his phone and leaves]
Coco Watchout: Hey dude!
Trashyard Mud: Hey!
Coco Watchout: So, what did you think man? It was pretty good, right?
Trashyard Mud: Um, no! No, not really. Yeah, that stuff was kind of personal. Maybe talk to me more about stuff that you were gonna do to me in the ring.
Coco Watchout: Okay, okay. Cool. I got it.
[Host walks in using his phone]
Okay, not a problem.
Trashyard Mud: That’s cool.
Kyle: Alright. Promo take two. And action.
[Host suddenly puts his phone inside his pocket and starts hosting. Coco Watchout and Trashyard Mud are making angry faces.]
[rock music playing in the background]
Host: And here with Coco Watchout and Trashyard Mud, and there is no love loss between these two, isn’t that right Coco?
Coco Watchout: Oh, yeah! When we get in that ring on Sunday, I’m gonna tell everybody about what I found on his computer. It’s full of Family Guy porn. You keep googling “Lewis Sex Brian”. And Brian’s the dog, man!
Trashyard Mud: I like dogs. Ay! How do you know all of that?
Coco Watchout: I hired a research firm to dig up dirt on you. And then they found out ton. You remember the college girlfriend named Donna? It turns out eight months after you broke up, he had a baby girl Evelyn.
Trashyard Mud: What?
Coco Watchout: I met her. She is a lovely girl and honored student. And she doesn’t want to have a thing to do with you, man! Because you never met her coz you’re not fit to be a dad. And that’s what the Coco is cooking.
Host: And tell me, what do you have to say to that, Mud?
Trashyard Mud: [Trashyard Mud is confused but he barks]
Host: You heard it here folks. And it all gets settled this Sunday.
Kyle: Cut! Cut!
[Kyle walks in]
I like that. Are you guys feeling that one?
Trashyard Mud: No.
Coco Watchout: Yeah. You said, man! Just let you have it, right?
Trashyard Mud: Yeah. I take it back, man. Okay? Just do normal stuff. Like, how you’re gonna rip me apart or something.
Coco Watchout: Okay. I mean, that seems wrong to me. But okay. Okay. For sure. Okay. I got it.
Trashyard Mud: Come on!
[Kyle leaves]
Kyle: And, action!
[Host suddenly puts his phone inside his pocket and starts hosting. Coco Watchout and Trashyard Mud are making angry faces.]
[rock music playing in the background]
Host: I’m here with Coco Watchout and Trashyard Mud.
Coco Watchout: I’m gonna rip this guy apart! And I mean psychologically.
Trashyard Mud: Jesus!
Coco Watchout: We have been looking on something the last eight months, Mud. You know, the internet girlfriend Staccy? The college student who lives in Hawaii that you’ve never met in person?
Trashyard Mud: Oh,no.
Coco Watchout: Well, I got news for ya. She’s really not a college student and her real name’s not Stacey. It’s Coco. That’s right. I cat-fished your ass! I made you fall in love with me and you had no idea!
Trashyard Mud: That is so intricate! Why are you doing this?
Coco Watchout: And that’s not all. You know that cute picture of Stacey that you’ve been spanking at? It’s actually a picture of Evelyn, the daughter you never met. Whoo!
Trashyard Mud: I think I’m gonna be sick.
[Trashyard Mud leaves]
Host: Well, there you have it folks. All at Wrestle Mania this Sunday
Coco Watchout: Ah! Coz that’s what Coco is cooking.
Kyle: Yeah! Now it’s a cut!
Host: Oh! Too far, Coco!