Air Date: Host: Musical Guest: Special Guests: Cameos:

March 24th, 2007 Peyton Manning Carrie Underwood None Archie Manning Eli Manning Olivia Manning Dan Aykroyd Cooper Manning

A Message From the President of the United States

Summary: Alberto Gonzales (Fred Armisen) reacts nervously as President George W. Bush (Jason Sudeikis) speaks about him to the nation. Recurring Characters: George W. Bush, Alberto Gonzales.

Montage

Peyton Manning's Monologue

Summary: Peyton Manning tells the audience what inspires him and introduces his family. Note: In dress rehearsal, Amy Poehler played a Patriots fan who heckles Manning from the audience. Bio: Peyton Manning (1976-). Athlete; quarterback for Indianapolis Colts since 1998; MVP at Super Bowl XLI (2007); runs his own charity organization, the Peyback Foundation. Bio: Archie Manning (1949-). Athlete; best remembered as quarterback for New Orleans Saints, 1971-82. Bio: Eli Manning (1981-). Athlete; quarterback for New York Giants since 2004. Transcript

United Way

Summary: Peyton Manning treats young kids roughly while serving as their mentor. Transcript

Bronx Beat with Betty & Jodi

Summary: Betty Caruso (Amy Poehler) and Jodi Deitz (Maya Rudolph) chatter with an attractive zookeeper (Peyton Manning). Recurring Characters: Betty Caruso, Josi Deitz.

ESPN's NCAA Tournament Pool Party

Summary: A ditzy secretary (Amy Poehler) has managed a perfect pool score by making picks that have nothing to do with sports knowledge. Transcript

Penelope the Party Pooper

Summary: Penelope (Kristen Wiig) one-ups party guests. Transcript

TV Funhouse

Summary: In Rob Smigel's parody of educational children's cartoons, little explorer Maraka and her pet cat seek audience participation to rescue a baby penguin. Transcript

Locker Room Motivation

Summary: Coach (Will Forte) tries to inspire his basketball team's impending loss by playing the 1967 theme from "Casino Royale." Transcript

Carrie Underwood performs "Before He Cheats"

Bio: Carrie Underwood (1983-). Country pop singer/songwriter; fourth season winner from "American Idol".

Weekend Update with Amy Poehler & Seth Meyers

Summary: Tim Calhoun (Will Forte) announces his bid to run for President in 2008. Seth Meyers discusses the fate of a polar bear cub during "Zoo News." The song stylings of "American Idol" contestant, Sanjaya (Andy Samberg), brings audience members (Kristen Wiig, Fred Armisen) and Dan Aykroyd to tears. Recurring Characters: Tim Calhoun, Sanjaya.

300

Summary: While filming a climactic scene from "300", an actor (Peyton Manning) frustrates the film's director (Jason Sudeikis) by refusing to throw a large rock at a fellow actor (Fred Armisen). Transcript

Carrie Underwood performs "Wasted"

Coffee Chat

Summary: Porch sitter (Kristen Wiig) and her husband (Peyton Manning) dispense distasteful gossip while drinking coffee on their back porch. Recurring Characters: Porch Sitter. Transcript

Meatloaf Lovers

Summary: Peyton Manning loves the new Mercedes-550 because he can cook a tasty meat loaf while he drives pantsless. Transcript

Air Force One

Summary: The perfect shoe for white guys who don't have basketball skills. Note: This commercial parody was cut from the dress rehearsals for the last three episodes.

Goodnights

Bio: Cooper Manning (1974-). Oldest Manning brother, and the only one of the three who did not pursue a career in professional football. Transcript

Appalachian Emergency Room

Summary: More hijinks with the Appalachian Emergency Room crowd. Recurring Characters: Receptionist, Percy Bo Dance, Netti Bo Dance.

Mrs. Hastings

Summary: Mrs. Hastings (Kenan Thompson) tries to seduce Peyton Manning at a party. Recurring Characters: Mrs. Hastings.