Announcer…..Darrell Hammond
Howie Mandel…..Kyle Mooney
Mel B…..Ego Nwodim
Heidi Klum…..Kate McKinnon
Simon Cowell…..Beck Bennett
Stacy…..Melissa Villaseñor
Debra…..Jonah Hill
Wilderness Contestant…..Cecily Strong
Sheila…..Leslie Jones
Levander…..Kenan Thompson
[ America’s Got Talent title. ]
Announcer: America’s Got Talent!
[ Cut to AGT Judges at their desk with the AGT audience clapping behind them. ]
Mel B: Hello, my love. What’s your name, dear?
[ Cut to the AGT stage where Stacy is waiting nervously for her chance to audition. ]
Stacy: Um, Stacy. [ Nervous giggle. ] I’m so nervous. I’ve never sang in front of people, ever.
Mel B: Well, this feels like a complete waste of time. But, alright, go ahead, dear.
Stacy: [She starts singing Lady Marmalade. ] More, more, mooooorrrrrrre.
[ Cut to the judges looking surprised and entertained. The audience is giving a standing ovation behind them. ]
[ Cut to the AGT audience all beginning to stand up and give a roaring standing ovation. ]
Announcer: Wasn’t that cool? You never thought it would work out, but then suddenly, it did. [ Cut to AGT logo. ] Over the years, America’s Got Talent, has had so many of these moments. [ Several surprising moments from AGT are shown as clips as the announcer speaks. ] And now, we put them into one special. ‘America’s Got Talent. Wait, They’re Good?’ See the performances begin like one thing [ An elderly couple is holding hands on the audition stage. ] Then woah-oh, there’s something else. [ Cut to the elderly couple now freak dancing on the stage. ]
[ Cut to Heidi Klum at the judge’s table. ]
Heidi: Hello, tell us your name.
[ Cut to Debra on the audition stage. He is dressed like a cowboy. ]
Debra: My name’s Debra, ma’am.
Heidi: Welcome, Debra. I hear you have some music for us.
Debra: Music, ma’am?
Heidi: Music. You’ve never heard the music?
Debra: I can’t say I have.
Heidi: Wow. Well, go ahead. Give it a shot.
Debra: Thank you, ma’am. [ The music starts and Debra starts to perform, Go Go Go Joseph. ] Go, go, go Joseph. You know what they say. Hey now Joseph, you’ll make it someday. Sha la la Joseph, you’re doing just fine. You and your dreams are ahead of your time. Go, go, go.
[ Cut to the AGT audience cheering wildly and giving a standing ovation. ]
Announcer: You didn’t think he could sing, did you? You monster! And look at Howie Mandel. [ Cut to Howie looking overly surprised and joyous. ] It’s like he’s never seen this before. But he actually has, a lot. [ Cut to the AGT logo. ] The ‘America’s Got Talent. Wait, They’re Good?’special has every moment.
[ Cut to Howie at the judges’ table. ]
Howie: So it says here that you were raised alone deep in the wilderness, like Jodie Foster’s character in that movie, “Nell”?
[ Cut to the contestant on stage in a nightgown. She is hunched over and waving her arms. ]
Wilderness Contestant: [ She speaks in a caveman like gibberish. ]
Howie: Great. We are you friends. Please. Make. Perform.
Wilderness Contestant: [ She sits on a stool and begins to sing, ‘Send in the Clowns’. ] Isn’t it rich? Are we a pair? [ Cut to Heidi looking bewildered then back to the wilderness contestant. ] Me here at last on the ground, you in mid air. [ Cut to the judges looking surprised and pleased. The audience is giving a standing ovation behind them. ]
Howie: What!!! This is crazy!!!
[ Cut back to the wilderness contestant. ]
Wilderness Contestant: Send in the clowns.
[ Cut to the AGT audience giving a standing ovation. ]
Announcer: And there goes the audience again. They genuinely didn’t see it coming. Even though they seen this guy, [ Cut to a man on stage. ] and this girl, [ Cut to a woman on stage. ] and even this. [ Cut to a dog on stage. ] And the moments just get more special. [ Cut to the AGT logo. ]
[ Cut to Simon at the judge’s table. ]
Simon: Oh dear, who are you?
[ Cut to Sheila on stage. She is standing next to her husband Levander who appears to be in a coma. ]
Sheila: My name is Sheila Block and this is my husband, Levander. He always wanted to audition, but he’s in a coma.
Simon: Oh my God. I’m so sorry. May I ask why did you bring him on stage?
Sheila: Well sir, I was hoping I could sing his song for him. It’s what he would’ve wanted.
Simon: Certainly. It seems like something every normal person would do. Off you go.
[ The music starts for ‘Ain’t No Mountain High Enough’. Sheila is dancing in place waiting for the cue, but instead Levander comes to life and begins to sing.]
Levander: Ain’t no mountain high. Ain’t no valley low. [ He takes off his hospital gown to reveal a sparkly outfit; Sheila also removes her dress to reveal a matching sparkly outfit. ] Ain’t no river wide enough baby. [ Cut to Howie screaming, ‘Whaaaaaaaaaaaa!’ then back to the couple singing on stage. ]
Sheila: If you need me call me. No matter where you are. No matter how far.
Sheila & Levander: Don’t worry baby.
Sheila: Just call my name. I’ll be there in a hurry. You don’t have to worry. [ Two dancers start dancing behind the singing couple. ]
Sheila & Levander: ‘Cause baby there ain’t no mountain high enough. Ain’t no valley low enough. Ain’t no river wide enough. To keep me from getting to you, babe.
[ Cut to the judges looking shocked and happy. Heidi is raising her hand. ]
[ Cut to the AGT logo. ]
Announcer: The ‘America’s Got Talent. Wait, They’re Good?’ Special. This Sunday at nine.