Michael Che: Jay-Z has launched a line of cannabis products called “Monogram”. So, just a quick reminder to all the women that told me I need to grow up, Beyonce is married to a 50 year old weed guy. So, god ain’t done with me yet.
Michael Che: Mike Pence who looks like a polar bear went to work, announced that the first two space force bases would be set up in Florida. I assume at TomorrowLand and EpCon Center.
Officials at Barcelona zoo revealed that four lions at the facility tested positive for coronavirus. Even more shocking, it’s because they attended the Hasidic wedding.
Michael Che: Joe Biden has nominated representative Marcia Fudge as Secretary of Housing and Urban Development. Fudge lives in Ohio but is originally from around the corner of Milk Milk Lemonade. It’s a thinker.
It was announced that Harrison Ford will return for a fifth Indiana Jones movie. Unfortunately, it’s called “Indiana Jones and the Tome of the Jamaican Nurse.” I’m sorry.
Colin Jost: Customers at Dairy Queen at Minnesota set up a chain reaction of paying for the customer behind them in the drive through that lasted for more than 900 people. It’s an inspiring story that ended with one guy being like, “Nope. I’m good.”
Doctors say that a woman has given birth to a baby that came from an embryo frozen 27 years ago. Said the baby, “You picked this year?”
Michael Che: A new study by astronomers finds that the galaxy is not as black as previously thought after it was seen dating a white lady.