Michael Che[Starts with Michael Che in his news set. There’s a picture of Morgan Wallen at right top corner.]
Michael Che: It was announced that country music star Morgan Wallen had his recording contract suspended after a video surfaced of the singer using the N word. Hm, wonder who he learned that from. [picture changes to Morgan Wallen walking with Colin Jost.] [Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of Stormy Daniels and Michael Cohen at left top corner.]
Colin Jost: It was announced that Stormy Daniels will appear on Michael Cohen’s podcast. Worse, Michael Cohen will appear in Stormy Daniel’s movie.[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of
Michael Che: Tomorrow, the Kansas City Chiefs and Tampa Bay Buccaneers compete in Super Bowl 55. The mayors of each city have made a fun bet on the game pitting 50 pounds of Kansas city’s famous barbecue versus a lifetime supply of Tampa’s legendary hepatitis B.[picture changes to a prison cell]
A Wisconsin man who was sentenced to 14 years in prison for robbing a bank said he did it because he decided to try something new. “I like that attitude,” said his cell mate.[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of Amsterdam’s red-light district at left top corner.]
Colin Jost: Officials in Amsterdam are hoping to reset tourism by moving the city’s famous red-light district away from the center of town. Okay. But take it from New York, when you drive out the sex stuff, that’s when the Elmos move in.[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of news article that says “Video shows shoppers and workers at Florida supermarket maskless” at right top corner.]
Michael Che: A video went viral this week of workers and customers at a Florida supermarket not wearing mask. But masks are a lot to ask in a place where the dress code is typically flip-flops and one titty out.[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of a news article that says “Man creates homemade rollercoaster for his kids” at left top corner.]
Colin Jost: A Florida man spent lockdown building a rollercoaster for his children in the back yard. “Wow, I’d love to see it,” said child services.