Cecily Strong
Jack Taylor… Kevin Hart
Cindy… Melissa Villaseñor
Dorothy… Kate McKinnon
Old Jack Taylor… Kenan Thompson
[Starts with Cecily in her set]
Cecily: Thank you for joining us for our annual PBS Pledge Drive. As you know, public television has brought so many wonderful educational shows for our children throughout the years including Active Jack. [Cut to DVD cover of Active Jack] In 1971, [cut to Cecily] long before the push for youth fitness, Active Jack Taylor was getting kids all over the country to get out there and move. And who could forget the classic opening theme.
[Cut to opening theme of Active Jack]
[music playing]
Jack Taylor: Come on, kids. It’s time to get off the couch and get moving. Ha-ha. Can you move? Well, can you groove? Solid! Everyone…
everyone can move it, move your body
so come on over and move it with me
I got lazy, move around
I got muscles to go up and down
I go up, up, up and down, down, down
let’s go, up, up, up and down, down, down
one more time, I go up, up, up and down, to the ground
Yeah!
[two girls join Jack Taylor]
Cindy: Hey, Jack.
Dorothy: Hey, Jack.
Jack Taylor: Hey, wad up, girls? Hey. Are y’all ready to exercise and harmonize and motorize?
Cindy: We sure are.
Dorothy: My doctor says exercise is good for me.
Jack Taylor: Oh, yeah. Then let’s get into it. Take it to the reach.
Exercise can make you strong
did you move to and fro
it can take you higher
move you way down low
Cindy: Hey, Jack. What kind of exercise are we gonna do today?
Jack Taylor: Oh, dig this. It’s called the South Philly breakdown, okay?
[Jack Taylor does the exercise. Another guy and a come in dancing to join. Everybody are copying what Jack Taylor is doing.]
Yeah.
Dorothy: Wow. That was way cool, jack.
Jack Taylor: Oh. Well, it ain’t nothing to me. So, get moving. Hah! And be like Active Jack!
[Cut to Cecily]
Cecily: Wonderful. And now, we at PBS have a special treat. After 45 years, the cast of Active Jack has agreed to be with us tonight for an exclusive reunion. So, now, performing the theme song, the original cast of Active Jack.
[Cut to Old Jack Taylor turning around. He doesn’t look happy at all.]
[music playing.]
Old Jack Taylor: Come on, kids. Get off the couch. [breathes heavily] Get moving. Ha-ha. Come on. Here we go. [he is barely moving]
everyone can move it, move your body
so come on over and move it with me
I got lazy, move around
I got muscles to go up and down
I go up, up, up and down, down, down
here we go, up, up, ouch! and down, down, down
I think I’ll just sit, sit, sit, stay here on the ground.
[Dorothy walks in. She is very old.]
Dorothy: Hi, Jack.
Old Jack Taylor: Hey, hey, Dorothy. Oh, what happened to Cindy?
Dorothy: Oh, she’s gone, Jack.
Old Jack Taylor: Why, lord? Well, are you ready to exercise and harmonize and motorize?
Dorothy: My doctor says if I exercise my hip will shatter like a wine glass.
Old Jack Taylor: Well, let’s do it anyway. Come on, let’s take it to the reach.
Exercise can make you strong
did you move to and fro
it can take you higher
move you way down low
[Old Jack Taylor farts] Oh! I’m sorry about that. I’m sorry about that. Let’s just try that South Philly breakdown. Here we go. [doing the exercise] Hey. Hop, hop, hop. Hop, hop, ah! Okay, cut it. Cut the music. I popped something. You know what? Kids, do what you want. Smoke, drink, I don’t care. Coz guess what? Everybody dies.
[Cut to Cecily]
Cecily: Okay. Um, guess we’re gonna cut that a little short. But remember, you can still get all the classic episodes of Active Jack–
[Old Jack Taylor walks in]
Old Jack Taylor: Ay, Willy! Put my town in country round and bring around close. Make sure you turn the heat on.