Tag: Troy

The Phrase That Pays

Dan Smatter… James Austin Johnson

Beth… Heidi Gardner

Troy… Austin Butler

Evie… Evie Johnson

[Starts with Dan Smatter in his show set]

Dan Smatter: Hey everybody, I’m Dan Smatter, and welcome to another great round of ‘The Phrase That Pays’. The game where three players can find the  missing letters in our word puzzles for big big prizes.

[Beth presses the buzzer.]

Yes?

Beth: So this is the wheel of fortune but with no wheel?

Dan Smatter: Don’t do that. That’s not nice. We have three great contestants, Evie, Troy and Beth. We don’t really have time for a fun fact from everybody. So I don’t know. Why don’t you just go down the line and tell everyone your ages.

Evie: Really? Okay. 36.

Troy: 34.

Beth: No.

Dan Smatter: Great. Let’s look at the first puzzle. The category is song. And Evie, let’s start with you.

Evie: Well, my favorite letter is B because I’m a bad one. But I’m gonna save that for later in the game. For now, let’s just go with T.

Dan Smatter: There is one T. You’ve got five seconds to solve.

Evie: Oh. Mama. Mama said… Mama. Mama whale. Mama can… Mama did a… Mama will…

[buzzer sound]

Dan Smatter: I’m sorry Evie. It’s not that. It’s not anything mamma. Troy, you’re up?

Troy: Okay. It’s not Hotel California is it?

[It’s right answer.]

Dan Smatter: Wow. Alright. Troy, I thought you were gonna get another letter but you went and solved the whole thing. How do you do that?

Troy: Well…

Beth: Yeah. How did you do that?

Troy: Well, you said it was a song and Hotel California is a song. So I thought maybe it was Hotel California.

Dan Smatter: Well, you’ve banked $1,000. Here’s our next puzzle. The category is books. And we’ll start with Beth.

Beth: Okay, I got a lot of letters going through my mind right now. Trying to think of a common one. How about X?

[wrong answer buzzer]

Dan Smatter: Sorry Beth, but there’s no X.

Beth: Yes there is, I see one right there. [pointing at a cross on the screen]

Dan Smatter: Oh, that just comes up when you make a wrong guess. That is a little confusing. Evie, you’re up.

Evie: Okay, I’m not ready use my B just yet. But is there a C?

Dan Smatter: There’s one scene. You’ve got five seconds.

Evie: Okay. Mama won’t… Daddy. Daddy will? Daddy mama did?

[buzzer]

Dan Smatter: Sorry Evie, time’s up.

Evie: I was so close.

Dan Smatter: Not even in the ballpark. Troy?

Troy: Is it ‘All the lights We Cannot See’ by Anthony Doerr?

Dan Smatter: Amazing. Are you a book lover, Troy?

Troy: No, actually, I haven’t done that yet.

Dan Smatter: Write a book?

Troy: It’s on my list.

Beth: Okay, something’s not right here.

Dan Smatter: You’re right. We need a new puzzle because Troy’s on a roll, and Troy, your category is famous quotes.

Troy: Well, my favorite letter is B because I’m a bad one.

Evie: What’s?

Troy: So I’m gonna say B.

Dan Smatter: Five seconds.

Troy: Wow, I’m completely stumped. Yeah, I have no idea. My mind is a total blank. I give up.

[Right answer bell. The answer is actually what he just said.]

Dan Smatter: Oh my God. That’s right.

Beth: What? That is not a famous quote.

Dan Smatter: Yes, it is. It says here Benjamin Franklin said it when he was trying to think of the light bulb.

Beth: Okay, well, that’s not right. And he’s cheating. He’s got a device in his ass like that chess player.

Troy: No, I don’t.

Dan Smatter: Okay, okay. We have time for one more category which is medicine. Like to guess, Beth? Or would you rather come play?

Beth: Fine, I’ll play. And I gotta go with my gut, X.

Dan Smatter: There’s no X.

Beth: Yes there is. [pointing at the cross on screen]

Dan Smatter: No there isn’t. Troy. The categories medicine.

Troy: Oh, well, I don’t know anything about that. Is it Ellen Pompeo feel super happy after Grey’s Anatomy exit? [It’s the right answer]

Beth: Okay, no. He is definitely cheating and there’s an ‘X’ in that.

Dan Smatter: What? Oh yeah. Sorry. Who cares? Well, we’ll be right back with more Phrase that Pays.

Barber Shop Talk

Troy…Dave Chappelle

Phillip… Michael Longfellow

[Starts with people talking in a barber shop]

Kenan: Man, oh, man, I still cannot believe that Kanye messed up all that money.

Troy: How you going to lose $2 billion in a day? It’s like he was using a paper shredder.

Punkie: Mmhmm, ’cause it couldn’t be me.

Ego: I know, right? Then he did all them damn interviews, making things worse and worse.

Troy: You ain’t got to say everything that you’re thinking all the damn time.

Kenan: Exactly, man. He lost me when he put on that White Lives Matter shirt.

Ego: Right, right, or when he said that message about George Floyd.

Phillip: [he’s the only white guy in the barber shop] Exactly. And his comments about Jewish people. I mean, way off the mark.

[Everyone else keep quiet and goes back to trimming hair]

Troy: I ain’t gonna lie. I was listening to “College Dropout” earlier today in the car. Still sound good to me.

Devon: Word. It’s going to be hard for me to enjoy listening to Kanye for a while.

Phillip: Same. That’s why I set all my Yeezys on fire. I mean, they’re only sneakers, right?

[Everyone else keep quiet and goes back to trimming hair]

Punkie: Yeah. But, um, that Kyrie Irving stuff is a trip, right? I mean, are they going to let him play again, or what?

Ego: I heard they have him like a list of things he’s got to do before they let him back on the team.

Troy: I stopped paying attention to that boy when he said the world was flat.

All: Exactly.

Phillip: Or when he refused to take the vaccine.

[Everyone else keep quiet and goes back to trimming hair]

I mean, I can understand an initial skepticism, but if the president of the United States says it’s safe…

[Everyone else keep quiet and goes back to trimming hair]

Ego: I’m still mad that my girl Stacey Abram’s loss.

Punkie: Thank you! Like how did she lose?! I mean, but Herschel Walker, he gets a runoff? I mean, what is going on in Georgia?

Phillip: It’s the Bible Belt, and this country will never progress until we separate God and politics.

[Everyone else keep quiet and goes back to trimming hair]

Kenan: Aye, y’all heard your man got robbed last night?

Troy: Yeah. I heard they took a $20,000 chain off his neck, too.

Devon: Damn!

Phillip: Now who would spend that much money on a necklace?

[Everyone else keep quiet and goes back to trimming hair]

Troy: Man, you know what I finally watched? That Dahmer thing they had on Netflix.

Phillip: Ohhh! That was so good, right? I mean, not—

[Everyone else keep quiet and goes back to trimming hair]

Not good as in he’s good. Just I thought it provided some needed insights on some…

Ego:  I wish they made more showsthat everybody could enjoy.

Troy: Ooh, like “Atlanta.” They’re killing it this season.

Kenan: Yeah, or “Abbott Elementary.”

Phillip: Or “Yellowstone.”

Kenan: Yellow what?

Phillip: “Yellowstone.” It’s like the most streamed show in the world.

Kenan: Oh, is that right?

[Phillip’s watch beeping]

Phillip: Oh! Oh, I guess it’s already 6:05. Well, that’s it for my shift. Um, Troy, thank you, again, for letting me work in your barbershop.

Troy: It’s all good, Phillip. Don’t worry about a thing.

Phillip: Hopefully, tomorrow, I’ll get a customer.

Troy: Yeah, maybe, you know.

Phillip: I hope I didn’t say anything that was too offensive to anybody.

Troy: No! No, no, no. You all good, Phillip, man. Thank you so much and I will see you bright and early.

Phillip: Okay, alright. Uh, alright, well, you guys take care. I’ll see you tomorrow.

Troy: Okay. Bye bye.

Ego: Okay, Phillip.

All: Bye bye.

[Phillip walks out and Troy closes the door]

Troy: He’s the police, ain’t he?

Kenan: Absolutely.

Ego: Oh, for sure.

Punkie: That’s right. I was going to say a cannibal.