Jen… Elizabeth Banks
Tyler… Mike O’Brien
Tyler’s wife… Vanessa Bayer
Dan… Bobby Moynihan[Starts with ‘Mike O’Brien Picture’ video bumper] [Cut to a woman entering a car]
Jen: Uber for Jen?[Tyler looks back at Jen]
Did you get my destination. I’m going to 91st in Amsterdam. You’re kind of going in an insane route. Just make the next left. Just coming up right here, and you missed it. Okay, it’s cool, you can just take the next left. And left… oh, missed it. Um, is this Uber for Jen? Do you speak English?[Tyler stops by a drive through]
Tyler: Can I get a number two combo, no pickles?
Jen: And a peach banana smoothie, grande?[The drive through passes the packed food to Tyler]
Tyler: Great, thank you.[The drive through passes the smoothie to Jen, but Tyler drives away and the smoothie falls down.]
Jen: So not cool. Okay, neither one of us wants to give the other a bad rating. So, let’s just be focused. My phone says your best bait is take a U-turn right up here and go back 20 miles. So we’re gonna make a U-turn right… you missed it. Is this an Uber for Jen? U-turn. U-turn.[Cut to Tyler and Beck in a meeting]
Beck: I’m sorry Mr. Tyler but we can’t help you with the house that’s that expensive. If you and Mrs. Tyler…[Jen is sitting beside Tyler]
Tyler: Oh, she is not my wife.
Jen: Ah! I’m Jen. 91st in Amsterdam.
Beck: Oh, yeah, makes more sense. You said your wife was nine months pregnant.
Tyler: Yeah, she is.
Jen: She is? Oh![Cut to Jen and Tyler shopping for the baby, having ice cream, taking selfies and spending time together.]
Clueless or mean girls?
Tyler: [looking back] Oh, that’s tough.
Jen: [scared] Oh my god![the car hits someone]
Tyler: Oh, my god. Oh, I think I just hit a dude.[Cut to Jen and Tyler getting rid of the dead body in an alley]
Jen: Oh, my god![Tyler stops the car in hurry] [A turtle is slowly crossing the road]
Tyler: Close call.[Cut to Tyler’s wife getting in the car]
Tyler’s wife: Oh my god. I think my water just broke.[Jen is looking at Tyler’s wife while Tyler’s wife is screaming while Tyler is driving.] [Cut to Tyler’s wife getting off the car with a baby and waving goodbye to Jen and Tyler] [Tyler’s wife gives birth to a baby in the car]
Jen: Oh, 91st in Amsterdam. Hey, my friend actually lives here. How did you know?
Tyler: The app shows me where to go.
Jen: So you are my Uber driver.
Jen: Cool, thanks. Bye.
Tyler: Bye.[Tyler rates Jen only three stars.] [Dan gets in the car]
Dan: Hey, Uber for Dan? Take a left up here. Yep, just right up here. And… left. Ha-ha. Dammit! That was the…[Cut to credit scene]
[Directed by Matt and Oz]