01j: Josh Hartnett / Pink
My Best List For 2001 by Jack Handey
V/O: My Best List for 2001, by Jack Handey.
Best Planet: Earth.
Best Canyon: Grand Canyon.
Best Hawaiian Dance: The Hula.
Best Flat Italian Pie: Pizza.
Best God: God.
Best Vampire: Dracula.
Best Candy Lips: Wax Lips.
Best Bee Prouct: (tie) Wax and Honey.
Best Monster: (tie) Dracula and Wax Head.
Best Parrot Name: (tie) Polly and Waxy.
Best Suey: (tie) Chop Suey and Chop Suey with Wax.
Sexiest Actor: Wax Tom Cruise.
Best Whole Ball: Whole Ball of Wax.
Best Thing of Anything: A Bat Carrying a Block of Wax.
Announcer: Jack Handey's Best List for 2001 was made possible by generous contributions from: The National Wax Association and The Count and Countess Dracula Foundation.