Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 3: Episode 3


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Saturday Night Live:
The Complete Third
Season on DVD




Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:

Bit Players:


October 15th, 1977

Hugh Hefner

Libby Titus

Andy Kaufman

None

Tom Davis

Mitchell Laurance

Tom Schiller

Anne Beatts

Andy Murphy

Neil Levy

Rosie Shuster

Paul Shaffer

Playboy's Party Jokes
Summary: A Playboy bunny (Laraine Newman) reads the jokes from an oversized page of Playboy magazine.

Transcript


Montage


Hugh Hefner's Monologue
Summary: Hugh Hefner sings "Thank Heaven for Little Girls", as a scroll reveals the true intent of his performance.

Transcript


Angora Bouquet
Summary: The soap so pure that it can wash a housewife's (Jane Curtin) mind.

Transcript


Planet Of The Men Vs. Planet Of The Women
Summary: In outer space, Captain Macho (Hugh Hefner) leads his crew in an attack on Captain Estrogena (Jane Curtin) and her crew.

Transcript


Libby Titus performs "Fool That I Am"


The Anyone Can Host" Contest
Summary: Garrett Morris updates viewers on the contest's progress thus far.

Transcript


The X-Police
Summary: "Magnum Force"-style X-Police officers (Dan Aykroyd, Bill Murray) break into the home of a pair of pot-smokers (John Belushi, Jane Curtin) and kill them for violating the law.

Recurring Characters: X-Police.

Transcript


Circular Bed Sex Research
Summary: A co-ed's (Jane Curtin) circular bed research with Hugh Hefner is interrupted by a query from President Jimmy Carter (Dan Aykroyd).

Recurring Characters: President Jimmy Carter.

Transcript


Listening To Great Music
Summary: John Belushi goes berserk while listening to "Ride Of The Valkyries".

Transcript


Weekend Update with Jane Curtin & Dan Aykroyd
ummary: An NBC tour group is led through the "Weekend Update" set. Nadia Comaneci (Gilda Radner) insists that spectators come watch her perform gymnastics while she's still young and cute. NBC's Dancing "N" dances delivers a news bulletin.

Recurring Characters: Nadia Comaneci.

Transcript


Sex In Cinema
Recurring Characters: Cary Grant, Katharine Hepburn.

Transcript


3 R's
Recurring Characters: Colleen Fernman.


The Story Of H


The Playboy Philosophy
Summary: In ancient Greek, Hugh Hefner outlines his philosophy to Socrates (John Belushi) and Plato (Garrett Morris).

Transcript


Magical Eulogy
Transcript


Andy Kaufman


The Farbers at the Playboy Club
Recurring Characters: Larry Farber, Bobbi Farber.


Goodnights
Transcript



SNL Transcripts