Cecily Strong
Leslie Jones
Dadi… Melissa McCarthy
Diane… Aidy Bryant
Vanessa Bayer
Kenan Thompson
[Starts with The Cul-De-Sac test screening]
Cecily: Okay, hi there folks. Again, we appreciate you all attending our test screening this evening. Now, we reviewed your comment cards and the Cul-De-Sac was one of our highest scoring horror movies in four years.
[Cut to Leslie]
Leslie: Oh, man. I loved it, man. Y’all twisted and I like that.
[Cut to Cecily]
Cecily: Well, that is great to hear. Now show hands, how many of you experienced a jump scare during the film? That’s where you physically jumped in your seat.
[Cut to many people raising their hands]
Dadi: One or two jump scares in there for me. Spilled a little bit of soda. I think he got heat on your hands.
[Cut to Cecily]
Cecily: Um, let’s hope so. As you know, were were taping the audience during the screening for our television and web ads and you guys gave us some great reactions we’d like to use. Now, we wanted to show you some before you sign the releases.
[Cecily plays the video]
[Cut to the audience reaction video.]
[Cut to Cecily]
Cecily: Ah! had a little jump there.
[Cut to Diane]
Diane: Oh, my god! It’s so embarrassing.
[Cut to Cecily]
Cecily: Alright. Now, this was taken during the first murder scene.
[Cut to the audience reaction video. Dadi spits soda all over Vanessa who is sitting in front of her, and then spills her soda at Kenan at the back when getting scared.]
[Cut to Cecily]
Cecily: Wow! Dadi, you were pretty scared there.
[Cut to Dadi and Diane]
Dadi: Um, I think that clip might have been Diane.
Diane: No. It was you.
Dadi: Well, I guess it’s kind of hard to tell with night vision.
[Cut to Cecily]
Cecily: Okay. Now here’s you guys watching the monsters in the trees sequence.
[Cut to the audience reaction video. Leslie gets scared. Dadi is puking. Vanessa looks at her but Dadi punches her face and pukes again.]
[Cut to Cecily]
Cecily: By the way, that young woman who was punched is shaken, but she’s otherwise fine.
[Cut to Dadi]
Dadi: Well, for the record, I barely touched her. I think she’s a little bit of a drama queen.
[Cut to Cecily]
Cecily: Alright. You guys, you gave us some real great stuff during that final chase scene.
[Cut to the audience reaction video. Dadi is making a scene at the theatre. She pulls off Pete’s shirt. Pete runs away scared of Dadi.]
Dadi in reaction video: I’m pissing myself. I’m pissing myself.
[Leslie is laughing at her]
Leslie in reaction video: Man, this bitch is pissing on herself.
[Dadi pushes everyone making her way to run outside the theatre]
[Cut to Cecily]
Cecily: So, you’re all okay with these? We have some releases for you.
[Cut to Dadi]
Dadi: Oh! I’d love to be on TV. I’m not sure if it’s worth losing my dignity over.
[Cut to Cecily]
Cecily: Well, you’ll get $250.
[Cut to Dadi]
Dadi: Oh, yeah. Deal.
[Cut to a commercial board with the poster of the movie and picture of Dadi puking.]