Chris Redd
Leslie Jones
Pete Davidson
Beck Bennett
Chadwick Boseman
Kenan Thompson
[Starts with people getting out of movie theater after watching Black Panther.]Chris: Man, third time seeing Black Panther and it just gets better every time.
Leslie: Like a fine black wine with abs.
Chris: Yo! Everybody in that movie has abs. I mean, the rhinos had abs.
Leslie: All I know is I would be in Wakanda forever.
[Pete walks in]Pete: You guys talking about Black Panther, right?
Chris: Yeah.
Pete: That was hell’a dope.
Chris: It was, man. Ain’t it crazy?
Pete: Hell, yeah. Best movie in twentyeighteen. [doing the salute] Wakanda forever.
Leslie: Oh, no. I don’t like that.
Chris: No.
Pete: What? Am I doing it wrong?
Chris: No, man. I think– I think it’s that you’re doing it?
Leslie: Yeah. Something about watching you do that, it just didn’t sit right with me.
Pete: Oh. No, you don’t understand. I love Wakanda. [doing the salute again]
Chris: Ummm, see? Right? That bothers me. Why does that bother me?
Leslie: Like in a blackest part of my soul.
Chris: Right? I feel like this should be us.
[Beck walks in]Beck: Are you guys talking about Wakanda? Sweet. [doing the salute] Wakanda forever.
Chris and Leslie: Oh! No!
Chris: It’s like indigestion, but racially.
Leslie: Oh, I feel it right here. [pointing her heart] Right here.
Beck: What’s the problem? I mean, why won’t you let me love Black Panther?
Chris: No, no. I want you to love Black Panther. But Wakanda’s– you know what I’m saying?
[Chadwick walks in]Chadwick: Y’all talking about Wakanda?
Chris: Yeah. You look like a woke ass brother to know.
Chadwick: Yeah. You know what it is.
Chris: Alright. So, right here we got a couple of white Black Panther fans.
Chadwick: Um-hmm. Always good to see you.
Beck: Of course.
Leslie: Yeah. But watch this. Hail Wakanda.
Pete and Beck: [doing the salute] Hail Wakanda.
Chadwick: Oh, yeah. I see what you mean.
Chris: Right? But wow, why don’t we like that, bro?
Chadwick: I believe I can explain. You see, the problem is that we as black people know that solute comes from Egyptian kings who were buried right hand over left to clutch the royal scepter.
Chris: Word. Word. Yeah, we all knew that.
Leslie: Yeah.
Chadwick: Salute is also the reminder that all white people are aliens who came to earth in a sleep pod.
Chris: Okay, thank you, brother. Thank you. [Chris pulling Chadwick away backwards]
Beck: We love the movie too. Why can’t we just do the salute?
Leslie: Because we know your history. You don’t give stuff back.
Pete: But there’s nothing wrong with it, you know? If you see superman, you do this. [raising his one hand with his fist closed] If you see spider-man you do this. [showing spider-man’s web shooting gesture] Wouldn’t this be the same? [showing Black Panther salute]
Leslie: I mean, I get the point. It’s cool that white boys want to do something that black superhero do.
Chris: I guess I have to agree, man. Every time I see a baseball game, I gotta do Tomahawk chop, and that feels very wrong.
Leslie: Very wrong.
Chadwick: We need to have a quick huddle.
[Chris, Leslie and Chadwick are whispering to each other]Chris: [to Pete and Beck] Ay, yo. Could ya’ll do that Wakanda salute one more time?
[Pete and Beck do the salute]See?
[they are whispering again]Chadwick: Alright. Our social collect has cultivated a determination that Wakanda salute, it belongs to everyone. We’re all lucky to have you. But in exchange, you must give back dabbing.
Chris: Please. Yes.
[Pete and Beck start whispering to each other]Beck: We’re not going to give up dabbing.
Pete: But yeah, you can have back Drake.
Chris: That’s dope. Drake’s dope.
Leslie: We’ll take Drake. We’ll take Drake.
[They all do Wakanda salute and get back to their way.] [Kenan walks out]Kenan: Alright! Whoo! You kids ready to go? Sorry. That bathroom line was really long. I thought I’d be in there forever. Wakanda forever. Right? You know what I’m saying?
Beck: Um. sorry stepdad. That gesture means something. You can’t just use it to salute that joke. Stay woke.
Kenan: What in the hell. Try to bond with you little sons of bitches and you ain’t gonna do it? I guess I can’t win. You know what? I will leave your mama. How you like that? [does the dab] Huh?