Molly… Molly Sherman
Kirsten… Heidi Gardner
Samantha… Chloe Fineman
Hosofina… Ana de Armas
Addy… Ego Nwodim
Kit… Molly Kearney
Male voice: People can’t stop talking about the trailer for the new Barbie movie. But not all dolls live in a dream house. Some are bigger, younger, sadder. Some dolls are American girl.
Molly: Hi Kirsten.
Kirsten: Hi Molly.
Kit: Hi Samantha.
Samantha: Hi Hosofina.
Hosofina: Hi Kit.
Addy: And I’m Addy. No one said hi to me.
Male voice: This summer, a new live action story about your favorite historically accurate dolls. Each with their own harrowing backstory.
Samantha: I’m a bitchy orphan from Victorian times. I watched my parents die in a boat.
Kirsten: That’s okay. My best friend Marta died of cholera.
Kit: That’s okay. My dad is a prisoner of war. And tragically, I have glasses.
Hosofina: That’s okay. My mama is dead. We bury her in the church graveyard.
Addy: That’s okay. I don’t know my birthday because I’m a runaway slave.
[silence]
Hosofina: Let’s play.
All: Yay!
Male voice: Do they have pink Corvettes? No! Boyfriends? No way. Did all their family members die of vague old timey diseases? Absolutely.
Kit: Fashion Show!
Male voice: Come for the fun. Stay for the overburdened preteens wearing four layers of Petticoats and pantaloons.
Samantha: What’s wrong, Hosofina? You’ve barely touched your tea.
Hosofina: The memory of my Mama is slipping away.
Molly: Look what I can do. [coughs blood on tissue]
[cut to Molly being covered by white sheet because she’s dead]
Kirsten: That’s okay.
All: Yeah. That’s okay.
Kirsten: Audiences are raving. “We loved it,” says girls who played soccer magazine. The New York Times write “These little girls are going through too much.”
Kirsten: What do you say girls? Should we have a sleepover tonight?
All: Yay.
Kirsten: What about you Addy?
Addy: I’m good. I don’t trust none of y’all.
Male voice: Watch as the American girls travel on a journey from American girl land to the modern world.
Kit: I’m going to stop World War II.
Hosofina: And I’m going to stop the Spanish American War.
Kirsten: And I’m going to end cholera.
[Now Kirsten coughs blood on tissue]
[cut to they throw away a dead body out of a carriage]
All: That’s okay.