Colin Jost
Pete Davidson
[Starts with Colin Jost in his news set]
Colin Jost: Last month MET Gala, a fund raising event at the Metropolitan Museum of Art where celebrities typically wear outrageous costumes was criticized by some as elitist. For more on this is someone who went to the Gala, Pete Davidson.
[cheers and applause]
Pete Davidson: Yeah. Hello. Thank you. Thank you, Colin. So, Colin, how did you enjoy the MET?
Colin Jost: Oh, I actually didn’t go this year.
Pete Davidson: Really? So, wait! This isn’t you? [There’s a picture of someone wearing a full head mask on with sharp nails mohawk and a suit.] Who was I talking to all night?
Colin Jost: Did you have fun at the Gala?
Pete Davidson: Oh, it was amazing. [laughing] No, it was amazing. I got to go to the coolest even of the year and I can now say I’ve been in a museum.
Colin Jost: I did see some people were commenting on your outfit.
Pete Davidson: Yeah, I don’t know why. [there’s a picture of Pete Davidson on his MET Gala outfit.] That’s a cool dress. I look like James Bond at Quinceanera. I look like one of the three blind mice sold fentanyl. [cheers and applause] Thank you. Oh, don’t do that. No. But the truth is I already wear a dress or paint my nails sometimes, just because I like making my uncles uncomfortable.
Colin Jost: Yeah. What do they think of the outfit?
Pete Davidson: Well, my uncle Steve saw it. He was like, “Hey, I don’t get it. But whatever makes you happy. Alright? You’re still walking in my house. I’ll just put the seat down when you’re over.”
Colin Jost: So, he’s afraid that people will think you’re gay?
Pete Davidson: Yes. Just because I wore a dress. Meanwhile, here’s him at my age.
[There’s a picture of a guy who has a long curly hair and is wearing boxers and sleeveless shirt.]
That’s my uncle who’s worried I looked gay. Meanwhile, he grew up in the 80s which somehow the gayest and the most homophobic generation of all time. All the songs were about the boys and how they’re back in town. Also, his favorite movie is Top Gun. That’s as close to a movie about men being in love with each other as the 80s allowed. It’s like Brokeback in the sky. I just don’t get where guys his age are coming from. I mean, have you ever asked a man in his 40s or over 50 what they did for fun growing up? They’ll say, “Oh, we waited for our friends to pass out. Then we’d all take pictures of our balls in his face.” You know. “The men were men!”
Colin Jost: So, wait. Was your uncle actually upset?
Pete Davidson: Yeah, he was upset. But it doesn’t take much. He was just mad that Chris Pratt isn’t Italian but he’s playing Super Mario. I say why all anger at this Chris Pratt though? He’s a sweetheart. He’s a lovely guy. I mean what? You just make one bad movie and then people hate you? is that true, Colin? Did people hate you after Tom & Jerry? [laughter] No, I’m kidding. I’m kidding. It was actually the perfect pandemic movie because it made sure there’d be no large gatherings at movie theaters.
Colin Jost: Okay. Well, Pete Davidson–
Pete Davidson: Wait, I’m not done. Bring up my dress again. I got one more. [Picture of Pete Davidson at MET Gala appears] I look like Tilda Swinton on Casual Friday.
Colin Jost: Pete Davidson, everyone!
Pete Davidson: I can’t believe I’m back.