Steve Harvey… Kenan Thompson
Blake Shelton
Adam Levine… Taran Killam
Pharell Williams… Jay Pharoan
Christina Aguilera… Cecily Strong
Keith Urban… Kate McKinnon
Nicki Minaj… Sasheer Zamata
Harry Connick Jr. … Beck Bennett
Steven Tyler… Kyle Mooney
[Starts with the game stage of Family Feud]Announcer: It’s time to play Family Feud Celebrity Edition. Here’s your host, Steve Harvey.
[Steve Harvey walks in] [cheers and applause]Steve Harvey: Welcome to Celebrity Family Feud. Y’all like this suit? It’s the first suit made by Hennessy. Yeah, they used to make fine cognacs. But thought that they give clothing a try. Yeah, it’s got a little pocket for a little 5 ouncer.
Okay, today we got celebrities from [Cut to the judges of The Voice] The Voice, taking on the team from [Cut to the judges of American Idol] American Idol.
[Cut to Steve Harvey]And leader of The Voice team is metrosexual lumberjack Blake Shelton.
[Cut to Blake Shelton]Blake Shelton: Hey, Steve.
[Cut to Steve Harvey]Steve Harvey: Now, Blake, America knows you as a coach on The Voice. You ever tried singing yourself?
[Cut to Blake Shelton]Blake Shelton: Yes, Steve. I’ve sold like, 7 million Amazon on the radio all the time.
[Cut to Steve Harvey]Steve Harvey: Not in my neighborhood. Okay, next to Blake from the band Mark Maroon-5 is sexy, smothering, soprano scare crow, Adam Levine.
[Cut to Adam Levine]Adam Levine: Hey! How you doing, Steve? Hope you check out my new album and my proactive commercial.
[Cut to Steve Harvey]Steve Harvey: Oh, I would check out both, but I already went through puberty. And we also got fashion icon, Pharell. You looking good, playa!
[Cut to Pharell Williams]Pharell Williams: Well, thank you. I got this hat from Smokey the Bear. All of you can prevent force fire, huh!
[Cut to Steve Harvey]Steve Harvey: Ay, I like you. any man who starts his day dressing from his hat down is okay with me. Then we got pop diva, Christina Alelera.
[Cut to Christina Aguilera]Christina Aguilera: Hello, Steve. It’s an honor for this proud Latino woman.
[Cut to Steve Harvey]Steve Harvey: Latino? Girl you Latino the same way Tacobell is Mexican food. And here in the American Idol team with a voice from god and hair from Jennifer Aniston, is a country singer, Keith Urban.
[Cut to Keith Urban]Keith Urban: Steve, it’s lovely to be here.
[Cut to Steve Harvey]Steve Harvey: Wait a minute. You’re Australian? Country music is supposed to be about living in the middle of nowhere and drinking beer, and starting fights. Okay, yeah, that’s Australia. And over here with her body turned up to 11, it’s Nicki Minaj.
[Cut to Nicki Minaj]Nicki Minaj: I’m here to have fun, but I came to win!
[Cut to Steve Harvey]Steve Harvey: Um, excuse me. I think this brass doll is possessed. Over here, he is the number one album seller of all time in Starbucks, it’s Harry Connick Jr.
[Cut to Harry Connick Jr.]Harry Connick Jr.: Thanks, Steve. You’re a gentleman and a scholar.
[Cut to Steve Harvey]Steve Harvey: Hey, I like your music. Makes me feel like I’m in a white barber shop. And finally, one of the world’s greatest lady rockers, Ms. Stevey Knix.
[Cut to Steven Tyler]Steven Tyler: Come on, man! I’m Steven Tyler! [shouts somethings] [Cut to Steve Harvey]
Steve Harvey: Steven Tyler? I don’t know, player! You look like a dream catcher came to life. Either way, let’s get two players up here.
[Cut to everybody. Blake Shelton and Keith Urban are walking to the buzzers.]Keith Urban and Blake, look at this. You look like him if he ate one of those Super Mario Brother mushrooms. Blagaga-blgaga-blagaga. Now, how long has American Idol been on?
Keith Urban: About 12 years.
Steve Harvey: And what about The Voice?
Blake Shelton: 4 years, but we’re on our 17th season.
[Cut to Steve Harvey]Steve Harvey: Yeah, NBC does run hell lot of that show. I see y’all on TV more than that Mutant-X Boogerman. Hilarious.
[Cut to Steve Harvey, Blake Shelton and Keith Urban]Okay, top 5 answers on the board. We asked 100 people. Name something you never ask a woman.
[Blake Shelton presses the buzzer]Steve Harvey: Blake Shelton.
[Cut to Blake Shelton]Blake Shelton: What did I do, Maranda?
[Cut to Steve Harvey, Blake Shelton and Keith Urban]Steve Harvey: Trouble just follows you, don’t it? Show me, ‘What did I do wrong?’
[Cut to the show screen. There is ‘What did I do wrong’ in the answers.]Wow! [Cut to Steve Harvey, Blake Shelton and Keith Urban] Man, I can’t believe that’s up there.
Blake Shelton: Well, I say it a lot.
Steve Harvey: Keith Uban?
Keith Urban: Alright.
Steve Harvey: Something you never ask a woman.
[Cut to Keith Urban]Keith Urban: Well, something I say all the time is, “Who did your highlights?”
[Cut to Steve Harvey, Blake Shelton and Keith Urban]Steve Harvey: Yeah! Yeah, I once got my mustache highlighted. [Cut to Steve Harvey] I looked like a black Captain Crunch.
[Cut to Steve Harvey, Blake Shelton and Keith Urban]Let’s see, ‘How did you get the lady hair?’
[Cut to the show board. There is ‘Do you dye your hair?’ in the answers.]Close enough. [Cut to Steve Harvey, Blake Shelton and Keith Urban] American Idol, you got the point.
Keith Urban: Alright!
[Steve Harvey and Keith Urban walk to American Idol side.]Steve Harvey: Okay, Nicki Minaj. Nicki Minaj. Something you never ask a woman.
[Cut to Nicki Minaj]Nicki Minaj: I get this all the time. I’m gonna say, “Is it real?”
[Cut to Steve Harvey and the American Idol team.]Steve Harvey: Don’t matter. Real or not, I’m smacking it. Show me, ‘Is it real?’
[Cut to the show board. It’s not in the answer.] [wrong answer buzzer]Oh, not on there.
[Cut to Steve Harvey and the American Idol team.]Harry Connick Jr., what do you never ask a woman?
[Cut to Harry Connick Jr.]Harry Connick Jr.: Steve, there’s nothing that makes a lady hit the road faster that looking her in the eye and say, “Well, you know I’m not Michael Bublé, right?”
[Cut to Steve Harvey and the American Idol team.]Steve Harvey: I hear you, player. I dated a woman for three years who thought that I was Ving Rhames. Ving Rhames. Show me, ‘not who she thought I was.’
[Cut to the show board. It’s not in the answer.] [wrong answer buzzer]Not up there. [Cut to Steve Harvey and the American Idol team.] Okay, last chance. Steven Tyler, something you never ask a woman.
[Cut to Steven Tyler]Steven Tyler: I’ll tell you what, baby. If you’re talking to a woman, never bring up age.
[Cut to Steve Harvey and the American Idol team.]Steve Harvey: Her age?
[Cut to Steven Tyler]Steven Tyler: No, my age. [screams] [Cut to Steve Harvey and the American Idol team.]
Steve Harvey: Oh, I see that. Show me, ‘too old to get figure.’
[Cut to the show board. It’s not in the answer.] [wrong answer buzzer]Ah, no!
[Steve Harvey walks to The Voice team]Okay, The Voice team. You got a chance to steal.
[Cut to The Voice team]Adam Levine: Who is prettier? You or me?
Pharell Williams: Wanna meet Robin Thicke?
Christina Aguilera: Why do you sound like Ooh-Ooh-Yeah!
[Cut to Steve Harvey and The Voice team]Steve Harvey: Okay, Blake, tell me something you never ask a woman.
[Cut to Blake Shelton]Blake Shelton: Well, one question I see ladies get asked all the time and they really hate it is, ‘Are you Adam Levine?’
[Cut to Steve Harvey and The Voice team]Adam Levine: Ha-ha-ha. Okay, very good. You got me, Blake.
[Cut to Blake Shelton and Adam Levine]Blake Shelton: Yeah, I did, pretty boy.
Adam Levine: Pretty? You really think I’m pretty?
Steve Harvey: What’s happening?
Blake Shelton: Yeah!
Steve Harvey: Okay, here we go.
Adam Levine: Really?
Blake Shelton: Yeah!
Adam Levine: I think you’re very handsome.
[Blake Shelton and Adam Levine go below the table] [Cut to Steve Harvey]Steve Harvey: Oh, wow! This is happening. That’s happening right now. This has been in the works for about three years. You know what? I’ma let these two work this out while I take a little bit of ‘me time’. [showing the bottle of Hennessy he had in his suit pocket.] Hennessy soup, y’all.
[cheers and applause]