Trinity Summers… Ego Nwodim
Deseret Wingo… Heidi Gardner
Leah… Punkie Johnson
Gordy… Myles Teller
Brock… Kenan Thompson
Frank… Devon Walker[Starts with Trinity Summers and Deseret Wingo dancing and drinking cocktails in a bar] [music playing]
Both: Hello. We’re moving. We’re moving. We’re moving.
Deseret Wingo: Oh, welcome to Caribbean Queens.
Trinity Summers: My name is Trinity Summers.
Deseret Wingo: And I am Deseret Wingo. And we are coming to you live…
Trinity Summers: And hungover…
Deseret Wingo: From Grabbers Resort and Spa where the party never stops.
Trinity Summers: You know, we met on Spirit Airlines on the way over. Yeah, we came over here for a week long vacation but we’ve been here for five amazing months. We’re doing a little eating, zero praying and a whole lot of loving.
Deseret Wingo: Plus, you know what? It’s off peak, which means there’s no sun, but there’s also no women younger than us.
Trinity Summers: Yeah, we’re bragging. Yes we are. Okay, now play our song.[music playing]
Now our theme song is of course by the greatest Musician of the last Deseret Wingo00 years, Mr. Billy Ocean.
Deseret Wingo: No man sing so good, they named the ocean after him. Which brings us to the first segment of every show, Google if Billy Ocean is still married.[Trinity Summers and Deseret Wingo start googling]
Trinity Summers: Ah, he is.
Deseret Wingo: Still?
Trinity Summers: That bitch.
Deseret Wingo: Well, bless their love, and that means I need a drink. Please welcome our favorite bartender, Lisa.
Trinity Summers: Hey, Lisa.[Gordy walks in with drinks]
Leah: Hey, my name is Leah. But that’s okay.
Trinity Summers: We love her.
Deseret Wingo: We’re so close.
Trinity Summers: We’re like family.
Deseret Wingo: We don’t even tip her.
Leah: But you could.
Deseret Wingo: Now our next segment is what we got up to this week?
Trinity Summers: We went parasailing, shorts fell off. Jet skiing, shorts fell off. Breakfast bar, you know our shorts fell off.
Deseret Wingo: All right. Well, our guest today, as always, are some hunky guys we met last night that we’re now going to speak to in the light of day.
Trinity Summers: That’s right. We’re gonna see if the sparks are still sparking. Come on out Gordy and Brock.[Gordy and Brock walk in sipping cocktails]
Gordy: Hey ladies, looking good.
Brock: Yeah, looking well lit but still good.
Deseret Wingo: Okay, so you remember us?
Brock: Yeah, we do. I just don’t remember if it was like fun or like “Oh-oh!”
Trinity Summers: It was both.
Deseret Wingo: Little bit of both. So we want to know more about you. You said last night you were a sports agent.
Brock: I sell catheters.
Deseret Wingo: Well, hook a girl up.
Trinity Summers: And I’m trying to remember what you said your job was? Lawyer.
Gordy: White rapper.
Trinity Summers: Oh, okay. I love white rap.
Gordy: Well, I do rap and reggae too. I go by Swaggy, that’s White Swaggy. [singing Shaggy’s verse] Life is one big party when you’re still young
Trinity Summers: Okay, I’m ready to go. I’m ready to go.
Deseret Wingo: Yeah, I’m poppin, okay? So all right, it’s time for the final vibe check. Let’s see if the vibes are still vibin.[music starts playing. They start dancing]
Deseret Wingo: Okay, this is nice. Oh, get it a little closer to me. Oh, Trinity, my guys got a hardy.
Brock: No. No, I don’t.
Trinity Summers: Well, let me just check mine. Okay, he’s growing, all right. It’s getting there.
Gordy: Oh, my bad.
Trinity Summers: No, baby. It’s a good thing.
Trinity Summers: Okay.
Deseret Wingo: Oh, I think we’ve got to wrap this show up before shorts fall off?
Leah: Oh, get it ladies. You two are the proudest, oldest skanks I’ve ever seen.
Trinity Summers: We love you too.
Deseret Wingo: Okay, now play us out Billy’s little brother Frank Ocean is here.
Trinity Summers: Yeah, give it to us, Frank.
Frank: Yo, I keep telling you, we are not related.
Trinity Summers: Oh, come on. Just get over here and sing the damn song.[everyone start singing]