Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 28: Episode 1







02a: Matt Damon / Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band

The NRA II

Hunter #1.....Horatio Sanz
Hunter #2.....Jimmy Fallon
Carrot Top.....Seth Meyers

[ open on two hunters squatting behind marsh weeds, still looking for potential kills ]

Hunter #2: I don't think we're gonna get anything else.

Hunter #1: You wanna call it a day?

Hunter #2: Ah, hang on.. I got one more idea.. Hey, what's the best way to make a collect call?

Hunter #1: I don't know..

[ Carrot Top suddnely surfaces from the weeds, clutching a pay phone ]

Carrot Top: Hey, big game hunters!! Fixin' to make a collect call?! Then make sure you dial 1-800-CALL-ATT!

[ Hunter #1 raises his gun, Carrot Top cowers in sudden fear ]

Hunter #2: Dude! Wait! [ a beat ] Remember to take the safety off.

Hunter #1: Right.

[ the hunters fire their guns at Carrot Top ]

Carrot Top V/O: Hey! You guys owe me a new phone!

Announcer: Remember to take the safety off. A friendly reminder from the National Rifle Association.

[ fade ]


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