Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 2: Episode 13

76m: Fran Tarkenton / Leo Sayer, Donny Harper Singers

French Liquid

Announcer.....Michael O'Donoghue
Third Woman in line.....Edie Baskin
Fourth Woman in line.....Anne Beatts
Fifth Woman in line.....Rosie Shuster

[ open on saleslady demonstrating her product at the perfume counter, a line of women standing in front of her ]

Announcer: Every time you buy a perfume... one million other women are buying the same perfume.

[ close-up of product ]

But now, there is French Liquid. One million women can wear French Liquid, and it won't smell quite the same on any of them.

[ slow pan across the line of women, from front to back ]

[ over first woman in line ]

For example, on her, it smells like wildflowers...

[ over second woman in line ]

On her, it smells like tropic rain...

[ over third woman in line ]

On her, it smells like warm rain pellets...

[ over fourth woman in line ]

On her, it smells like Cicely Tyson's toothbrush...

[ over fifth woman in line ]

On her, it smells like a dead otter in the drainpipe...

[ full shot of women standing in line ]

French Liquid. Vive le difference!

[ dissolve to audience shot, zoom in on women with CAPTION: "On Her It Smells Like French Kitty-Litter" ]

SNL Transcripts