Michael Che[Starts with Michael Che. There’s a picture of an article that says “Doctors worry about telling middle-aged women to lose weight” at right top corner.]
Michael Che: Some doctors are worried about a new recommendation asking them to encourage middle aged women to lose weight. also worried about women losing too much weight, black guys.[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of Empire State building at left top corner.]
Colin Jost: The Empire State— What? The Empire State Building lit up blue and white to celebrate Aaron Judge hitting his record 6Michael Chend Home run to the season. While over in Queens, a porta potty was set on fire in honor of the Mets blowing the division.[cut to an article that says “Velma out as a lesbian”]
In a new Scooby Doo Halloween specialty, character Velma is openly depicted as a lesbian. Finally. She was openly depicted as lesbian which explains why Scooby is now a rescue pitbull.[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of a calendar marked on 5th of October at right top corner.]
Michael Che: Wednesday was National Coffee With A Cop day and something tells me cops like their coffee black with a couple of shots in it.[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of a sky scraper in san Francisco at left top corner.]
Colin Jost: [laughing] Michael! new skyscrapers being designed in San Francisco featuring a clear glass cube on top, it will appear to be floating. And then a week later, appear to be covered in dead birds.[picture changes to a calendar marked on 4th of October]
This Tuesday was national vodka day. Oh, so that’s why my dad called.[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of pumpkin at right top corner.]
Michael Che: Hefty has introduced pumpkin spice into trash bags and I gotta say ‘pumpkin spice into trash bags’ is probably the best slur for white people I’ve ever heard.