Colin Jost
Michael Che
[Starts with Michael Che in his news set. There’s a picture of a science lab at right top corner.]
Michael Che: US scientists announced they have reached ignition, which is a nuclear fusion reaction producing more energy than it’s supposed to create. And they’re hoping this discovery may eventually lead to the remix to ‘Ignition’.
[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of a child using tablet at left top corner.]
Colin Jost: A new study has found that using screens to stop a child’s tantrums can harm their ability to control their emotions. The study is titled “Elon Musk”.
[Cut to Michael Che. There are pictures of Donald Trump and Ron DeSantis at right top corner.]
Michael Che: Republican insiders are concerned that the rivalry between Donald Trump and Ron DeSantis could lead to a civil war within the party, because they already have the flags.
[Picture changes to an article that says “Parachute record setter dies at 94”]
A man who made aviation history by parachuting out of a hot air balloon twenty miles above the earth has died at the age of 94… when he finally hit the ground.
[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of an article that says “Whale swims 3000 miles with broken spine” at left top corner.]
Colin Jost: Researchers say that for more than a decade, they tracked a humbpback whale as it swam over 3000 miles from Canada to Hawaii with a broken spine. They even got a recording of it’s whale song.