Michael Che[Starts with Kool-Aid commercial. Kyle and Chris walk inside the house. They are wearing Lakers jersey]
Kyle: Doing sports together is awesome.
Chris: Totally, I’m thirsty.[Red giant Jar Kool-Aid breaks the wall and comes in] [Cut to the Jar]
Jar: Oh, yeah.
Kyle: Whoa! [Cut to Kyle] He just burst through the wall.[Cut to the Jar]
Jar: Who’s thirsty for some Kool-Aid?[Cut to the Chris]
Chris: I am.[Cut to the Kyle]
Kyle: Yeah.[Cut to Jar, Chris and Kyle]
Jar: Slap me some skin. [They have high-fives] Oh, yeah.[Cut to Kyle and Chris]
Kyle: I want to be like Kool-Aid.
Chris: I want to be like Kool-Aid.[Cut to Jar with his thumbs up.]
Narrator: Is this a Kool-Aid man? [Cut to TV playing Kool-Aid commercial] Oh, yeah. More like oh, no. We can’t laugh it off.[Cut to three kids on a couch watching TV]
Kids: We don’t even want Kool-Aid.[Cut to TV playing the Kool-Aid commercial, red jar breaking the ceiling, wall and everything to come in]
Narrator: Its time for us to set a better example.[Cut to Heidi Gardner giving her presentation in the meeting hall]
Heidi: All our cost by 60%.[Alex Moffat in red suit breaks the door and comes in with a jar of Kool-Aid in his one hand]
Alex: Oh yeah![Cut to people in the meeting cheering at Alex]
Narrator: It’s been going on far too long.[Cut to Beck in his read outfit walking][Cut to across the street two men are carrying a glass slab][Cut to Beck]
Beck: Oh yeah.[Beck starts to run towards the glass slab to break it] [Cut to a kid breaking a playhouse]
Kid: Oh yeah.[Cut to Colin Jost]
Colin: You tell them, son. Oh, yeah.[Cut to Kid. Kid kicks a wall of playhouse]
Kid: Oh, yeah.[Cut to adults in a line with a glass of Kool-Aid]
Parents: Oh, yeah.
Narrator: But something finally changed.[Cut to news reporter in her news set]
Reporter: The Kool-Aid man is in hot water after allegations of bursting through walls. [The screen is filled with the news reports against Kool-Aid]
Narrator: And there will be no going back. Because we believe in the best in a Kool-Aid man. [Cut to Beck Bennett running towards the glass slab] To say the right thing.[Cut to Michael stops Beck from breaking the glass slab]
Michael: No, no, no, no, no man. Not cool.
Narrator: And to act the right way.[Cut to Colin Jost teaching his kid manners]
Colin: You got to knock first, and then ask if you can enter, okay bud?
Kid: All right, dad.[Cut to Heidi and Alex in Heidi’s meeting hall]
Alex: I didn’t realize you were doing something important. I am sorry.[Cut to Heidi]
Heidi: Okay, well as I was saying— [Alex leaves the room] [Cut to Colin Jost]
Colin: Times are changing.[Cut to Colin and his kid. Colin holds his kid’s shoulder]
Narrator: Because the Kool-Aid boys watching today will be the Kool-Aid men of tomorrow. Who’s thirsty for some Kool-Aid?