Shanice Goodwin… Leslie Jones
Sensei… Bobby Moynihan
Vlad… Russell Crowe
Gregor… Kenan Thompson
Jon Rudnitsky[Starts with Shanice’s picture as a child]
Shanice: First they said, “Your’e too small.”[Picture changes to Shanice as an adult]
Then they said, “You’re too big.” They said, “You’ll never make it.” But I didn’t listen to them because I knew one day I would become a ninja.[Cut to video clips of Shanice wearing a ninja costume with a sword]
Male voice: The adventures of Shanice Goodwin, Ninja.[Cut to Shanice and Sensei. Sensei is wearing karate uniform and a black belt.]
Sensei: Shanice, the ambassador’s been kidnapped by the Russian mob. These are professional Shanice, bad dudes. All your training has come to this moment.
Shanice: Don’t worry sensei. I’m going to do some ninja stuff.[Shanice walks away] [Cut to Russian Mob headquarters] [Four men have Vanessa tied up in a chair]
Vanessa: What are you going to do to me?
Vlad: Alas! We are Russians. it’s gets more easy we get the rules, you live. If they don’t listen, maybe Russians will have to do something… terrible.
Vanessa: I’m warning you. My father knows some very dangerous people.
Vlad: Very dangerous? She say very dangerous.[The men laugh] [Shanice comes behind them and leaves sommersaulting.] [Cut to Taran and Gregor]
Taran: Gregor. Did you feel, [Gregor is coughing] you okay?
Taran: I felt it too. Something breeze.
Gregor: I don’t know. I didn’t feel nothing. I think maybe you have been drinking.[Gregor gets hit by a suriken and falls down]
Taran: Gregor![Jon runs in]
Jon: Where did that come from?[Shanice is sneaking behind them] [Cut to everybody]
Vlad: Be still. Someone is among them. I can feel it. Show yourself![Shanice is pretending to be reading a newspaper behind them]
Everyone, be very quiet. Silence is their enemy.[Shanice runs behind them and hits Jon with a bottle and walks away. Jon falls down.]
What was that?
Taran: I don’t know. I saw only blur.
Vanessa: You want to know what that was? I’ll tell you. I think there’s a ninja in here.
Vlad: Check the door.[Taran walks goes to check the door and comes back]
I swear to you on my life, we will find this ninja and kill him. Where is he?
Taran: I don’t know, Vlad. I’ve looked everywhere.[Taran is walking around. He is putting his hand on Shanice’s face as a support but has not seen her yet.]
There is no where it could be. It seems comprehensive.
Vanessa: I was right. Somewhere in this room, there’s definitely a ninja.
Taran: He’s almost like ghost. There is no–[Shanice jumps in and breaks Taran’s neck]
Vlad: Show yourself. Fight me face to face or she dies.[Shanice comes behind Vlad]
Shanice: I am the wind.[Shanice runs away]
Vlad: You are the wind, yes. [Shanice brings in the ladder behind Vlad] I am stone. You see, I am Russian. And a Russian stone does not move. The Russian stone stays in place through thousands of winters. [Shanice is climbing the ladder] It does remain very solid.[Shanice jumps and hits Vlad. Vlad falls down.] [Shanice cuts the ropes tying Vanessa on the chair]
Vanessa: Oh, my goodness. You saved my life. Who are you?[Cut to Shanice’s face.]
Shanice: Me? I’m a ninja. And a cashier from Cole’s.[The End]