Garrett from Hinge

Kyra… Heidi Gardner

Travis Kelce

Garrett… Bowen Yang

Kyra: I can’t believe we just did that. Every time you’re in town, you suck me back in.

Travis: It’s because we were meant for each other baby.

Kyra: God, you know I bailed on a date tonight because of you.

Travis: Oh, your bad. Now come on. Should I make some pancakes? That is special recipe.

Garrett: Hey.

Kyra: Oh my god.

Garrett: Um, what’s up?

Kyra: What are you doing in my house?

Travis: Who is that?

Garrett: Um, I’m Garrett from Hinge. We had plans for seven at Buccacinos.

Travis: What? Kyra This is the guy you blew off?

Garrett: Yeah, afraid so. Now, I’m here and you’re in bed with like, a Hemsworth brother I didn’t know about? How do you think that makes me feel?

Kyra: Dude, you broke into my house? I don’t even know you.

Garrett: Yeah, you do. I’m Garrett from Hinge. AKA the guy who’s been waiting for you a Buccacinos like some kind of Sucka.

Kyra: What is your problem? Leave.

Garrett: Oh my god, this is so overwhelming. I’m gonna go to the bathroom and when I come out, we can figure this all out. Okay?

Kyra: There was nothing to figure out. Okay, we got to call the cops.

Travis: No, you can’t. I’m not supposed to be here. I can’t leave the state because my parole.

Kyra: Wait, what parole?

Garrett: [talking to the mirror] Garrett? I know your feelings are hurt. And that’s hard. But no matter what, you cannot kill them. Okay. [walks out of the bathroom] Alright, I’m back. And I’ve been thinking a lot about it. And I’m open to being a throuple.

Kyra: Yeah, we’re not gonna do that, Garrett.

Garrett: Kyra, tonight. You made me look like an absolute sucker. I left work early to change.

Travis: You changed into that Stewie Griffin t shirt?

Garrett: Can give you some advice, Kyra? If you’re not emotionally available, maybe don’t be on the apps right?

Kyra: Oh my god.

Garrett: Especially Hinge, because Hinge is the app that’s designed to be deleted, right?

Kyra: Okay, will you stop making the same pose as your shirt?

Garrett: Oh, Kyra, Kyra, Kyra. You want a little foot rub?

Kyra: No, don’t rub my foot.

Garrett: Hey, it’s just me, Garrett from Hinge, the dating app for people who hate dating apps.

Kyra: Do you, like, work for Hinge?

Garrett: Hey, this little piggy left me at Buccacinos.

Kyra: No, stop.

Garrett: Oh my God. You know what? I need to use the restroom again. And I don’t mean to make this awkward, but could you please rapid test? There was a plandemic going on.

Kyra: Did he say plandemic?

Garrett: [talking to the mirror] Garrett, I know this is hard, but you cannot kill them. Even though it would be so easy, oh man, I really wish it and bring poison here. Guys! [walks out of the bathroom] You know what? I think I’m just gonna stay the night if that’s cool.

Kyra: No, Garrett, get your psychopath ass out of here now.

Garrett: Dammit, woman! Sorry, that was my Stewie impression.

Travis: No, Garrett, that was actually an amazing Stewie impression. And to be fair, Kyra, you did make him look like a sucker at Buccacinos. So you know what? Maybe we’re in the wrong too now. Get in here with us.

Garrett: Wow. Thanks guys. That’s so nice. Oh.

Travis: Oh damn, I’m positive.

Kyra and Garrett: You took it?