Todd… Kyle Mooney
Casey… Beck Bennett
Eric… Pete Davidson
Emily Hyde… Kate McKinnon
Pat… Taran Killam
Carla Meunez… Cecily Strong
Sean… Bill Hader
Bobby Moyniham[Starts with San Deigo County Public Access Television video bumper] [Cut to Todd and Casey in their set]
Todd: Alright, I’m Todd.
Casey: And I’m Casey.
Todd: And you’re watching…
Casey: [whispering to Todd] Together on three.
Todd: [whispering] One, two, three.
Todd and Casey: Inside So Cal.[Cut to Inside So Cal intro] [Cut to Todd]
Todd: Alright. So, our top story is our boy Ryan Tableton got married this weekend and a bunch of the boys went. I’m not usually into church or gods or whatever but I thought ceremony was super gangster.[Cut to Casey]
Casey: Seeing two souls uniting as one.[Cut to Todd]
Todd: Also, you don’t have to dance. Okay, now let’s do Health Minute with Casey.[Cut to Health Minute with Casey video bumper.] [Cut to Casey. There’s a white board behind him with a bar diagram]
Casey: Alright, so Matt new all got Vicatin and anyone can get it on that. That was a Health Minute.[Cut to Health Minute with Casey video bumper.] [Cut to Todd]
Todd: Okay, so we got developing story. Apparently, Emily Hyde is like, super pissed at Pat right now. So, let’s go to Eric at the Lendwood house and see what’s going on. What up Eric?
Eric: What’s up, guys?
Casey: Wad up?[Cut to Eric]
Eric: So, I’m here with Emily and Pat. Emily, why are so mad at Pat right now?
Emily Hyde: Coz he sent pictures to my friends.
Pat: Yeah, but I don’t like them the way I like you. I just beat off to them.
Eric: Alright, well, so there you have it. As you can see, things are pretty real over here. Back to you folks.[Cut to Todd and Casey]
Casey: Now, it’s time for this week’s Ill Investigations with my boy Todd.[Cut to Ill Investigations video bumper] [Cut to Todd in a restaurant]
Todd: Reherbata is one of my favorite restaurants. But why don’t they do the red salsa anymore? I had this chance to down with Carla Meunez who works here. Let’s see why they stopped doing it.[Cut to Todd with Carla Meunez]
Where is the red salsa at?
Carla Meunez: Oh! Um, no–
Todd: I’ma boys love the red salsa.
Carla Meunez: [not speaking English] No, we–
Carla Meunez: No, it’s no more.
Todd: You’re gonna bring back the red salsa?
Carla Meunez: [struggling to speak in English] Okay, no more. We don’t have no more. No more.
Todd: The red salsa used to be the best part of Reherbata. [Carla Meunez just walks away] Alright, I guess they’re not doing the red salsa anymore.[Cut to Ill Investigations video bumper] [Cut to Casey]
Casey: Next, our story on Lindsay Turell who cut her hair short over the summer, which looks good on her small head.[Cut to Todd]
Todd: Alright, which bring us to our Feature Story. When you think about art, you think like, “That’s something my dad likes”, or smarter people like. Michelle Grannis. But actually, art can be pretty gangster. So, we sent Sean out to tell us it’s gangster.
Sean: Blue, yellow, green, colors in art. But, how baller can art be? I’m here in a fucking museum to find out.[Cut to Feature Story video bumper] [Cut to Sean]
Sean: When they first started doing art, it was lot older. And they didn’t know how to make a pint. But then, it was more abstract and now you look at it and it’s way more, you know–[Cut to Todd]
Todd: You’re trying to say it’s more baller?[Cut to Sean]
Sean: You know, coz it’s like, you know– I play maden right? So–[Cut to Casey confused]
Casey: What are you talking about?[Cut to Sean]
Sean: A little refrigerator.[Cut to Todd]
Todd: Alright, I think I get what you’re saying Sean. [looking confused] [Cut to Todd and Casey]
Alright, this has been Inside So Cal. Oh! Do you want to say the thing about your grandpa?
Casey: Um, yeah! So, my grandpa died and we were like, super close. But, I’d like to believe that even though he’s gone, he’s still with us.[Bobby walks in]
Bobby: Hey, what are you doing in my house?
Todd: Sorry, sir. I’m Todd.
Casey: I’m Casey.[Todd and Casey stands]
Bobby: Now, get out.
Todd: Sorry sir.
Bobby: Get our of my garage.
Casey: We’re almost done. We’re sorry.
Bobby: Wee-wee-wee, You’re sorry?
Todd: That’s not how I sound sir.
Bobby: That is how you sound. [Bobby pushes Todd] [They start fighting]